


Surviving, and Maybe Even Living

by foxy_mulder



Series: Fighting Zombies, Falling in Love, and Other Dangerous Endeavors [1]
Category: Glanni Glæpur í Latabæ, LazyTown, Áfram Latibaer
Genre: 3edgy5me lol i know ok, Angst, Character Development, Disabled Character, Domestic Fluff, Dubious Morality, Family Feels, First Kiss, Fluff, Gen, Gore, Hurt/Comfort, Medicinal Drug Use, Multi, Murder, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Rating May Change, STOP READING THE TAGS AND SPOILING IT FOR YOURSELVES, Slow Burn, YOU PERCEPTIVE FUCKS, being literally in a closet and then literally coming out, excessive twilight references, im no longer tagging spoilers yall too smart for ur own good, like seriously theres a lot of them, lots of twists that were probably unnecessary, short chapters for the most part, so much stingy angst, zombie apocalypse AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-28
Updated: 2017-03-25
Packaged: 2018-09-12 19:06:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 56
Words: 30,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9085924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foxy_mulder/pseuds/foxy_mulder
Summary: Lazytown Zombie Apocalypse AU





	1. Chapter 1

Ziggy, Stephanie, Stingy, and Sportacus. 

So far, they hadn't found anyone else. The town was eerily void of its usual laughter, replaced now with the inhuman sounds of the undead. It was strange to think it had only been a few days since the first wave of zombies stumbled into town, biting and scratching at the doors of overly trusting townsfolk. Miss Busybody and Mayor Meanswell had left on a business trip a week before it started, so there was no telling whether they were okay, if this was happening everywhere or just in the Lazytown area, which was relatively secluded.

Sportacus' crystal was going off nonstop, but he wasn't equipped to fight off zombies. There was a reason he was classified as a slightly-above-average hero, and not a superhero- he wasn't trained to kill. He couldn't do a thing to stop the apocalypse.

He went out once a day looking for survivors, but had so far only found a few.  
Sportacus glanced to the morose children huddled on the pullout bed. The airship wouldn't be a haven for long; it occasionally had to be landed and fueled, which took several days. Not to mention that the only food inside was fresh fruit and vegetables, which would soon spoil. For the moment, though, the airship was a blessing. 

They stared down at the hoardes of zombies, which from the sky appeared to be a single, unrelenting mass of decay and echoing groans. Twisting, writhing, tearing at flesh.

Sportacus shuddered. The children were too young. Just days ago, they had been at innocent play, and now, to have to face this...  
He shook himself from his thoughts, and pushed the button to close the window. The kids collectively startled as the wall slid down, obscuring the window, breaking them from their trance. He had to find a way to cheer them up. He tried to remember zombie movies he had seen, something the kids could relate to, find fun about the situation, _anything._

"Alright, we have to name our team!"

Ziggy took the bait. 

"Team? We're playing a game?"

Sportacus smiled brightly. _Oh, Ziggy, if only._

"Well, no, but our lives are about to change, quite a bit. We are a team now- we are going to try and find food, stay away from zombies, and to help other people so they can join our team too! Just like in our wilderness survival training, remember?"

Ziggy rocked on his heels in excitement, bursting with questions, and Stingy asked why they had to help other people if it was HIS team, not other peoples team? Stephanie looked unconvinced, and spoke quietly.

"So, like a game. Except this is real life." Her eyes narrowed. Sportacus looked at her in a silent plea to understand. She was the most mature and perceptive of the bunch. Of course he wanted her to think of it as a game like Ziggy, to remain an innocent youth awhile longer, but as her eyes widened in understanding, it became clear to him that she would not remain carefree in the midst of their new world. She knew that this was no game, this wasn't something you could quit when it stopped being fun, and would be as haunted by that knowledge as Sportacus or any other adult. There was no going back. She gave a near imperceptible nod, and so began their mutual understanding.

Stephanie gave a winning smile and the team name suggestions began.

Ziggy wanted to be called "Team Sportacandy," Stingy was stuck between "Stingy's Team" and "Team Triagonal signs" (He had developed a strong attachment to a construction sign and stolen it last year, and still harbored feelings for it even months after they took it back from him.) 

Stephanie voted for "Team Jacob," (from some romance novel she and Trixie liked.) No one could agree, so Sportacus had them all write their ideas and put them in a hat.

"No fair, Stingy has two!" Ziggy whined. Stingy huffed.

"Well, it's not my fault I'm twice as creative as you." 

Sportacus dug into the hat, both eyes closed, and pulled out a slip of paper. He opened his eyes and...

"We are Team Jacob!"

Stephanie clapped, and Ziggy and Stingy looked very upset. Sportacus took pity on them and told them the name would be re-voted when their team got bigger and they had more voters.

A loud groan sounded outside the airship.

"How about we listen to some music?" Sportacus suggested quickly. He put on a CD and turned it up as loud as it would go.

They played soccer, but there wasn't enough space or players on the airship. 

So they gathered pillows and made a fort, then Stephanie brought paper for them to color on. The children were occupied and relatively happy. Sportacus let himself relax a little, and he played cowboys with them until Ziggy began to yawn. It was only 7:30, but he figured he should put them to bed.  
There was only one bed, so Sportacus slept on the floor with the pillows and his sleeping bag, accompanied by Ziggy, while the other two children squished together on the bed.

Sportacus wondered what the others were doing, if they were doing anything. Maybe Pixel built some kind of program to fight the zombies, maybe Trixie was shooting them with a slingshot, maybe Robbie was safe with some kind of cannon or machine, somehow... No. He tried to stamp out his false hopes and numb himself to reality.

_They were helpless, they were probably dead, he would never get to see them again._

(Somehow, it didn't help him feel better.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The idea for an apocalypse AU came from this article I read which was the furthest reach I've ever seen, trying to make Lazytown WAY edgier than it is. You can read it here:
> 
> https://fishbowltoaster.wordpress.com/2013/11/18/childrens-horror-what-the-fuck-is-going-on-in-lazy-town/
> 
> Anyway, as always, if you have any ideas or suggestions please comment!


	2. Chapter 2

Sportacus debated whether to go out and search for more survivors. He was sure _someone_ was still alive, because his crystal hadn't stopped going off since this had all started. However, he had responsibilities now. The children, still fast asleep, would not make it long in his absence. They needed him to protect them, both physically and psychologically. 

He got out some fruits and cut them up in a bowl to have for breakfast. He had half a gallon of milk, several browning bananas, bread, and some low-fat cheese. Hardly enough for a meal, at least for four people. He sighed and began his morning stretches. 

"Sportacus?"

He looked up from touching his toes. Ziggy was standing there looking like he was about to cry. Was he missing everyone? Had he grasped the situation? Were his dreams haunted with visions of decay as Sportacus' were?

"What is it Ziggy? Did you have a nightmare?"

He shook his head and looked down, embarrassed. "I wet the bed," he whispered, and put his face in his hands.  
_Oh._ Good. This was something he could handle.

Sportacus jumped up and gave him a reassuring pat on the back. "Well, it's nothing to be ashamed of! But, you'll need to take a bath and change-" oh. They had fled the town in such a hurry, none of the children had time to pack extra clothes. Well, this _was_ a problem.

"...Ziggy, let's put the sheets and your clothes in the wash, and you can take a bath while we wait for them to be clean, okay? Can you take a bath by yourself?"  
Ziggy nodded. It was a temporary solution, re-wearing washed clothes, but it would have to do. 

Stephanie woke up while he stood by the drier.

"What are you doing, Sportacus?" She yawned.

He glanced at the bathroom. "Ziggy had an accident," he said quietly. "Don't tell Stingy." She nodded.

"What's the plan?" she asked.

"I'm washing the sheets. It'll all be okay.

"No, I mean the plan... for Team Jacob."

"Ah. It'll all be okay."

She pouted. "Sportacus, please?" And he was forced to admit it.

"I don't have a plan, I'm sorry," He ran his fingers through his hair. He was tearing apart at the seams, it felt like. He wished he hadn't admitted it.  
Stephanie looked excited.

"Then we'll make a plan! C'mon!" She dragged him to the pillow fort and got out the crayons. 

"I know some of our situation, but not everything," she admitted. "I know that there's zombies, I know you have to land the airship for fuel sometimes so we can't stay up here. But I don't know how to fight zombies and I don't know about taxes or things like that, so if that factors into the situation, I dunno what to do."

He laughed. "No, Stephanie, you don't need to worry about taxes."

"Tell me _everything._ "

She had already begun writing things down before he started talking. He told her that they needed to land soon, they had no clothes or toothbrushes or anything besides what little was already in the airship, that they were running out of food and needed to go find some food with preservatives to last longer. She had to stop him so he could answer questions about what the heck preservatives were. 

He omitted the parts he didn't think she could handle, like how he didn't think he had it in him to kill a zombie, or how he was finding it harder and harder to muster a backflip or smile. How he'd had a nightmare about Pixel, Trixie, and Robbie, torn apart by greedy hands and hungry, blackened teeth. 

As he talked about their lack of supplies, she outlined hypotheticals, ideas for ways to get food, places around town to hide if they needed to.

"Why don't we just fly the airship to another town far away?" Ah. A fair question.

There could be zombies there, too. They might somehow spread the infection. The airship could break down. Or he could tell the truth.

"Because I know someone in Lazytown is still alive."

She looked at him in astonishment. "Alive? Wh-"

Ziggy ran out of the bathroom, fully naked and still soapy. Stephanie slapped her hands over her eyes.

"Sportacus, I need help washing my hair!"

"Sure thing, Ziggy!" He hopped up to go help, Stephanie still scribbling furiously in pink crayon.  
As he scrubbed the shampoo into his hair, Ziggy told him about his favorite candies. 

"...And the red ones, too, but not the cherry, only strawberry, because the cherry flavor is too sour, you know?"

Sportacus couldn't relate much to the candy talk, but he listened intently. Hopefully they could wrangle some candy for Ziggy sometime soon.(But not too much, of course, he still wanted him to grow up healthy.)  
He quickly rinsed the soap from Ziggys hair and toweled him off. He collected his clothes, now dry, and helped Ziggy tug them on. His cape was only slightly shrunken.

They walked into the main room to quite a scene. Stingy was tugging Stephanies paper, yelling about "movies" and repeatedly saying "MINE," while Stephanie pulled the other way in angry silence. The paper tore in half.

"Woah, woah! What's the matter?"

They both spoke at once, but he held up a hand to quiet them. "One at a time."

Stingy went first. "I was looking at the paper, and all the stuff she wrote went directly against every zombie movie I know of! Her plans were stuff like 'look for a zombie cure' and 'fly over town looking for survivors.' That's all wrong!! You're supposed to fight the zombies and raid each others stuff, like the movies and shows say! So I was just gonna _fix_ it."

Sportacus raised an eyebrow. "And Stephanie?"

She glared at Stingy. "I was thinking of plans that wouldn't get us all killed, unlike _his_ dumb plans!"

Ziggys lip trembled. "Sportacus, are we gonna die? Are the zombies gonna get us?"

 

"No, Ziggy, as the leader of Team Jacob, I promise that none of you will be harmed by zombies. It'll be okay."

Stingy gave him a hard look. " _You're_ the leader?! But it's MY team!"

Ziggy shook his head furiously. "It's everyone's team, Stingy!"

Stephanie ran into the kitchen to get tape for her torn paper.  
Ziggys stomach rumbled loudly, which reminded Sportacus of the fruit he'd left on the table earlier.  
"C'mon, let's have breakfast, and we can discuss this afterward, okay?"  
They agreed.

When Sportacus looked at the slices of watermelon, all he could see was his friends bodies torn into strips of muscle and fat. Pixel, his clever brain picked at and torn and swallowed, Trixie, nimble little hands skinned and bitten into, scraped to the very bone, finger by finger.  
And beautiful Robbie, with his face torn and bloody and his soft grey eyes popped like fat ticks.

He shuddered.


	3. Chapter 3

There was no more food. He didn't want to land, but there was no clothes, no toothbrushes for the kids, little soap, very little fuel, and now no food, either.   
Sportacus knew it was coming, yet found himself completely unprepared.

"Everyone, we're landing the ship now. I'm going to go out and look for food, and I should be back in an hour or so. Stingy, start to fuel the ship while I'm gone."

"Why do I have to do it?"Stingy whined.

"Because you are the teams official... accountant."

Stingys expression brightened. "Accountant? Like money?"

"Yes! And fuel costs money, right? So you're the obvious choice here." Stingy nodded. 

"We are landed at the gas station, and I need you to put the hose in the tank." 

He briefly explained the process to Stingy. Looking out, Sportacus saw no zombies, as the gas station was in a gated area. Hopefully none would come. He didn't think he could stand to lose anyone else, not when the others losses felt like a personal failure, three gaping holes in the universe that would never heal. He didn't want any more to be lost under his supervision.

"Do it as quickly as possible, and when you're done, get inside and close the door. Don't wander off _anywhere._ Understood?" 

He said it lightheartedly enough, but there was urgency to his words that Stingy heard loud and clear. 

"Yes, of course!"

"Good. Don't come after me, even if I don't come back... In time. It will all be okay." 

Sportacus flipped away, jumping the gate and running out of sight. They put the hose in the tank, and closed the door, and played hide and seek inside.

 

They waited two hours before Stingy suggested that Sportacus was in trouble.

Three hours before Stingy and Stephanie fell asleep in the pillow fort.

And four whole hours before Ziggy snuck out to find Sportacus.


	4. Chapter 4

Sportacus wasn't sure what was more suprising- the fact that Trixie, Pixel, and Robbie Rotten were alive, or that they seemed to be getting along famously. He had opened the hatch and tumbled in, looking to take some of the preservative-rich food from Robbies old lair, only to find Robbie inside, playing video games with the kids! Trixie turned when she heard him enter, slingshot at the ready. When she saw who it was, she groaned.

"Man, that could have been a zombie! Pixel, I thought you locked the hatch!"

"What? No, it was your turn!" He looked up from his game. "Oh, hi Sportacus."

Robbie looked at him disdainfully.  
"Hello, Sportakook. Took you long enough to get here." Sportacus could hear the barely-concealed giddiness in his voice.

Relief flooded his entire body. The numbness fell away, replaced by all the pain he'd tried to ignore, pain at the loss of his friends, pouring in as if a dam had been knocked down within him. He didn't have to pretend to be strong for the kids anymore. It was the apocalypse, and they were dead, but now they weren't dead anymore, and his mind shifted gears from numb, empty void into love and overwhelming joy so quickly his head spun with it. The pain and relief hit all at once. 

Suddenly he was crying, full body sobs wracking his chest as he murmured _"you're here, thank gods, you're here,_ " over and over under his breath. He felt someone reach out and pull him into an embrace, shushing him, patting his back.  
_Robbie._ Beautiful Robbie with the soft grey eyes that weren't popped and eaten. Robbie was alive. They were all still alive. He held on as tightly as he could.   
When he was all cried out, Robbie shoved him off. 

"Okay, enough mushy...stuff. Tell us where the _he-"_ He glanced at Trixie and Pixel. "-heeeck you've been. Is there anyone else out there? Did you rescue anyone?"

Sportacus could see the scratches and jagged tears on Robbies clothes, the off-white bandages underneath. It looked like he'd been doing some rescuing of his own. 

"Yes, Robbie, I have the other children," Robbie visibly relaxed, "but we are out of supplies. I'm sorry we didn't come and get you all, I came here a few days ago but no one was home, so I thought..." His breath hitched.

"Stupid Sporta _dork_ , I wasn't home because I was fighting off nasty dead _things_ to get to _these_ ungrateful brats." He motioned to Trixie and Pixel. Trixie blew a raspberry at him. "All they do is eat my cake and forget to lock the door," he muttered fondly. Sportacus smiled. 

Trixie piped up.  
"You like us, Robbie, and you know it! Especially since I loaned you my favorite book!!"

Robbie blushed. "Do not tell him about that!"

"About what?" Sportacus looked between them, bemused. Why was a book such a big deal?

"C'mon, Robbie, tell him our Zombie apocalypse team name!"

Sportacus was delighted. "Team name? You guys have a team name too?"

"Ours is named for a stupid _sappy_ little book-"

"You didn't think it was sappy when you cried at the end, Robbie!" 

"Our name is Team Edward." Robbie snapped, fighting back a nervous smile.

Sportacus smiled so wide he thought his face would crack. "Really? Stephanie named us Team Jacob!"

Trixie shrieked. "PINKIE, THAT _TRAITOR!_ TEAM JACOB?!"

Robbie just laughed and laughed. Pixel muttered "girls are so dumb," and continued playing his game.

Trixie got up to go lock the hatch, but was intercepted by Sportacus, who lifted her up and spun her around. Then he did the same to Pixel and Robbie. He was ready to cry again, or something similar. 

For the first time, he let himself believe what he had told the children- 

It would all be okay.


	5. Chapter 5

When he got back to the airship, Ziggy was gone.

He woke the children. They looked relieved to see him, and he realized how just how long he'd been gone. They'd probably been scared, and Ziggy- Ziggy wanted so badly to be a hero. His crystal went off. Sportacus left the clothes, cans of food, and the four kids, and went with Robbie to search. They called out in the dark for him, but there was no reply. He had opened the gate and left, into the territory of zombies.  
Sportacus heard a scream and ran toward its source. There was Ziggy, in a dark alleyway. A tall shadow loomed over him and a zombie shuffled closer to him.

Ziggy cowered in a dark corner as it approached. Sportacus could smell it from where he was; it stank of mustard gas and roses, decay and sweat. Before Sportacus could muster the strength of mind to act, Robbie rushed forward with a small, whirring metal object. He plunged it into the creature, yanking it up and splitting the things torso in half. Congealed blood seeped from the carcass and it fell, spattering thick blobs onto Robbies already red-stained pants. Sportacus stared at him blankly. 

"It's a modified can opener," Robbie shrugged. 

Ziggy was sobbing loudly in distress, and Sportacus rushed over to pick him up. He wasn't sure what to do. This was probably the greatest trauma a little thing like Ziggy had ever experienced, how could anyone comfort him now? Sportacus' hesitation must have shown on his face, because Robbie held out his arms to take Ziggy from him. Sportacus passed Ziggy over reluctantly. He wished he could help. He'd always been able to help before all this.

Robbie said something into his ear, petting his hair. Ziggy replied quietly and Robbie nodded.  
Sportacus strained to hear what they were saying. Whatever it was seemed to calm Ziggy down considerably, and they set off at a run toward the airship, Robbie still carrying Ziggy.  
Since when did he care for the children so much? Since when was he able to provide for them more than Sportacus? Sportacus felt envy rise to his throat, and disappointment at being replaced so easily, but then felt guilty. He should have been glad Robbie was becoming a better role model, and was adapting to the situation so well. Sportacus surely wasn't. He vowed to protect them better in the days to come.

His train of thought derailed when they reached the gate, which was still open.

Robbie and Sportacus exchanged looks and walked in cautiously. The window of the airship was broken. Low wails and screams came from inside. Sportacus' stomach went cold. He turned to Robbie, who stared back at him, eyes wide in visions of what could be going on.

They stepped inside fully expecting the worst- four tiny corpses on the ground.

There were just three corpses, courtesy of Trixies slingshot. The kids stood behind the kitchen counter, Stingy in a toy helmet, Stephanie with a kitchen knife, and Pixel holding large rocks for Trixie. Sportacus' heart swelled with pride and horror. Should they really be doing that? Was that okay for them to be doing?!

Robbie rolled his eyes. "Don't look so upset, Sportacrybaby. This isn't the Lazytown it was last week. Kids gotta know how to kick ass- uh, butt- now. Don't be so morally uptight. Right, team EDWARD?" 

"Team _Jacob!_ " Blood-spattered Stephanie objected.

One of the zombies groaned and started to stand up again. Robbie got out his modified can opener and hacked through its spine in the same motion he'd used earlier.  
"You guys did a great job, but remember to cut the spinal cord next time or it won't die," He advised them.  
They exchanged fistbumps. Sportacus felt like he was having an aneurism. He wasn't sure whether he was upset that they'd killed several zombies, or that they'd done it without adult supervision. One of them could have been bitten, or killed. He hoped he could protect them better the next time.  
He _would_ protect them better next time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> robbie: yes murder is good, u gotta cut the spine kids  
> sportacus: *reevaluates life choices*
> 
> HA bet you all thought Ziggy was dead, nope its 2 soon for any deaths
> 
> remember the spine thing, it's p important later because of reasons.


	6. Chapter 6

They decided not to stay in Lazytown any longer. Robbies lair wasn't all that secure, since it had entrances all over town, and now that Sportacus' window was broken, zombies could easily get in. Not to mention that there wasn't an infinite supply of food, since food trucks couldn't enter the town anymore. They set out for the road winding through the miles of woods surrounding Lazytown, which eventually led to a (hopefully uninfested, but unlikely) city, bringing camping gear and going on foot. Robbie and Pixel made some small weapons from old inventions and household appliances. There was at least one for everyone, including Ziggy. While they prepared to leave, Sportacus tried to occupy himself with packing the kids things into backpacks. Robbie ordered them around, telling them to bring this or that, and they complied readily. 

Sportacus took a deep breath. He couldn't believe that just a week and a half ago, he had been the town hero, capable of helping anybody in need, and now he was the most useless of all. He couldn't protect them anymore, he was spread too thin to be there for all of them all of the time, and soon they were all going to see it and none of them were going to love him anymore. Sportacus wanted to keep being a hero to them, but he didn't know _how_. Their problems had escalated from cuts and scrapes to the literal zombie apocalypse. How could he keep up with that?!

Everyone was set to go. It was a miracle, but they made it out with no zombie encounters or incidents. They hiked across fields and fields, and could barely see the woods in the distance.

"Hey, this is just like that time we were Lazy Scouts! Remember?" Ziggy called excitedly.

The others nodded, reminiscing. Stephanie rolled her eyes.

"Except this time, we're actually _exercising,_ " she said pointedly.

"More fun the first time," Robbie shrugged. They sniped at each other for awhile, though the mutual affection was apparent.

They played some games, and told some jokes. Sportacus trailed his hand through the tall grass. Robbie did the same, scrunching his nose adorably when the grass tickled him. Sportacus picked a piece of grass and turned around to poke him with it. Robbie snatched the grass and stuck it in his ungelled hair.  
It looked nice on him, somehow.

Sportacus was in front. He walked quickly, wanting them to make it to a good place to set up camp for the night. However, after only a few miles, he noticed that the kids and Robbie looked completely exhausted.  
"Okay, who needs a break?"  
All hands flew up except Robbies, though his face was red and his knees shook in exertion. Sportacus raised an eyebrow but didn't comment. Perhaps Robbie was trying to look strong for the kids. They were making okay time; the sun was still high in the sky, so he announced that they would have lunch. He sat next to Robbie, offering him a water bottle.

"Are you okay?"

Robbie snatched the bottle and didn't meet his eyes, still gasping for breath. "I'm _fine._ " He drank the entire bottle and wiped his brow, hesitating before he spoke.

"Sorry I'm holding you guys up so much, I don't really _exercise,_ you know that," He sounded defensive, like Sportacus would judge him for being tired. He laughed at the thought, and Robbie looked hurt.

"Robbie, you're a vital part of Team Jacob, even if you're slow!"  
He threw a hand over Robbies shoulder. Robbie glared at him.

"We're Team Edward, thanks very much." 

Stephanie must have heard them, because she stuck her tongue out at Robbie, prompting Trixie to pull her hair.

"Hey! Play nicely, please," Sportacus said. Robbie was looking at him. He could see him in the corner of his eye. Robbie looked very soft. Sportacus pretended not to notice, but it was hard.

Sportacus opened his can of soup with disgust and deep remorse. Robbie laughed at his expression and dug into his own can. 

"Try it, Sportacan, it's not sugary or anything."

He took a tiny bite. It... wasn't horrible. It was a very near thing, but it was not horrible. That was the best he could say for it, unfortunately. He doubted that there would be any salads in his near future. The thought caused a pang in his stomach. Or perhaps the not-horrible food caused the pang.

They walked, Sportacus noting the speeds at which the others got tired, and trying to go slower to match. Robbie carried Trixie and Pixel, despite his obvious fatigue, and Sportacus carried Stephanie and Ziggy. Stingy insisted that he was fine just walking. Sportacus offered to carry the other two, but Robbie flat out refused to let him. They barely made it to the woods by night. When they arrived at their chosen camping place, Robbie set Trixie and Pixel down and slumped against a rock, gasping and gasping for breath. 

Stephanie helped Sportacus and Trixie set up the tents. She nudged at Sportacus to go to Robbie, who looked like a dying fish. He hopped over and crouched next to Robbie. He really looked like he was going to pass out. Robbie grabbed Sportacus' collar and pulled him in close.

"Are you proud of me?" he looked earnest. His skin glistened with sweat and moonlight. Sportacus shivered

"Of course I am; you hiked over ten miles. Now drink some water, okay?"

The night was hot. Sportacus encouraged them to roll up their sleeves or take off their shirts. They would have to sleep in their clothes, since there was no shower, so Ziggy and Pixel opted to take off their shirts. Robbie shakily took his off, even that small effort causing him to strain for breath. Sportacus suddenly noticed all the bandages he had on underneath his clothes. He had noted them before, but now, seeing them up close against his skin, he could tell the damage was a lot more extensive than he'd assumed. There was a mild odor emanating from the areas on his arm and torso.

"Robbie, have you changed these bandages at all?"

He shook his head."Was I supposed to?"

Sportacus wanted to smack him, or do something equally uncharacteristic. Why did Robbie never take care of himself?! He unwrapped the bandages, revealing long claw marks, red and oozing clear liquid. This wasn't good at all. Sportacus gave him a disapproving look and got out his first aid kit. He carefully dabbed antibiotics on the wounds. Robbie hissed and recoiled in pain.

Sportacus felt guilt rush over him. He should have noticed sooner, should have walked slower, should have insisted harder on carrying the children for Robbie-

"You have to make sure things like this don't get germs in them, or else you will get very sick. And change the bandages every day. You wrapped them too tight, it's not good for your circulation, so ask for help next time, okay?" 

He smiled as he heard the words come out of his mouth, sounding like something he would say to one of the kids. He really wanted Robbie to ask him for help next time. He was part of the team, after all. He finished wrapping the fresh bandages. Robbie had a funny look on his face.

Trixie tugged at Sportacus sleeve to ask if she could take her shirt off too.  
She was extremely adamant.  
Robbie told her she could go shirtless if she wanted, and Sportacus gave him a look.

"What? She's a little kid, and it's the apocalypse, who's gonna care?"

The boys didn't even seem to notice. He was fairly sure most of them were oblivious to the fact that they even _should_ notice, which was a good thing, in his opinion. 

Like Robbie said, they were little kids, and they were all a family anyway. 

The thought came out of the blue. He knew already, and had for some time, that he saw these people as his family.  
It came with the new realization, however, that they now had no other option but to be his family. Everyone else was gone.

He wasn't sure whether to feel happy or sad about that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Team Edward or Team Jacob- this serious debate continues to be the riveting main conflict in the story, with a minor side-plot about the zombie apocalypse thrown in also


	7. Chapter 7

The next day was far more pleasant. The clean bandages seemed to brighten Robbies mood a bit, and everyone else was only slightly grumpy about waking up early to walk.

"Okay, Team Jacob, new rule- no one is allowed to be carried by Robbie, because he's still healing."

The children murmured their assent.

"Sorry, Robbie, we shouldn't've had you carry us yesterday," Pixel said sheepishly. Robbie looked at him.

"You didn't _force_ me to do anything!"

Pixel shrugged. "But it hurt your arms. Why didn't you say anything?"

Robbie didn't respond, pretending to be caught up in looking at the forest scenery. Pixel let it go and continued to play games on his solar powered calculator. It was the only electronic he'd been able to bring besides a weapon, because nothing else was chargeable by the sun.  
There was a long and awkward silence.

"So, has anyone done anything interesting lately?" Sportacus knew the question was silly as soon as he asked. He was with them all the time, of course he knew exactly what interesting things they'd done lately. 

"Well, we survived the zombie invasion of our town," Stephanie drawled. He couldn't tell if she was being sarcastic or not.

He smiled. "Yeah, that's pretty interesting. What does Team Jacob-"

"Team Edward," Robbie and Trixie interrupted in unison, and Sportacus continued.

"-Team _Edward_ want to do after we reach the city?"

Stingy had a lot of crazy ideas.

"We should go to a mall, and maybe go to a movie, or go to a hotel and stay there! And I heard the police ride horses in the city! Can you believe?!"

Robbie cut him off.   
"There's probably just zombies and more zombies in the city, at this point. We can't know for sure. He meant, what's our survival plan, and where do we want to go next?"

Stingy kicked at the dirt and muttered under his breath.  
Sportacus was secretly glad Robbie had taken initiative to destroy their false ideals about where they were headed. But he did he have to do it so bluntly?

Stephanie said they should live in the top floor of a skyscraper and grow a garden up there. Pixel liked the idea, and the two of them discussed having solar panels on the roof, and what plants they'd want to grow.

Stingy didn't like the idea. He said that they had to worry about _people,_ not just zombies, and that it was best not to settle down in one place, or someone would come rob you of everything and burn down your house. 

Robbie said they should just wait and see.

 

Sportacus smiled as widely as he could muster and cartwheeled over the next hill. "Do you guys want to have a race?" he yelled. They chased each other over the hills as the road wound through the forest. Robbie got tired soon, and Sportacus offered to carry him on his shoulder. He reluctantly accepted, and Sportacus heart fluttered all around in his chest.

"I wanna ride on your shoulder, Sportacus!" Ziggy jumped up and down. Sportacus shook his head.

"Wait your turn, Ziggy. For now, go play, okay?" The others were still chasing each other up the road, and Ziggy ran to join them.

"Why do you wanna carry me so bad, Sporta _weirdo?_ "

"You looked like you needed a break!" _And I like your hands in my hair._

Robbie _hmph_ ed. "I'm sorry I need so many breaks. Thanks for bringing me along anyway."

"Everyone else gets tired too, Robbie. We talked about this."

"I know, I just... The children already hate me, I don't want to be a burden to all of you."

Oh. That line of thinking needed to be stopped immediately. If he knew Robbie, he'd been letting those ideas fester for quite awhile, if he was so readily admitting it to Sportacus. 

"Robbie, you're not a burden. I'ts okay to need help sometimes." Well, everyone except Sportacus.   
_You're the most valuable member of the team, Robbie, you're so smart and helpful and we couldn't make it without you._

"The kids- especially Trixie- look up to you. They have for a while, it's just more apparent now that we're all around each other all the time. You're not a burden at all, stop saying it," He trailed off and looked up at Robbie when he didn't respond. He was clearly suppressing a smile, lips twitching at the corners.   
Sportacus crystal went off.  
It did that sporadically, these days. It wasn't much good to him anymore, but he couldn't bring himself to throw it away; it was a reminder of the Lazytown they were leaving behind.  
Ziggy ran back toward them, looking panicked.

"What's the matter?" Sportacus called. Something was wrong.

"There's a man on the road!" Ziggy screamed. A man? Sportacus ran, Robbie bouncing on his shoulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise this Team Edward/Team Jacob thing will be resolved at some point.


	8. Chapter 8

There was a man, indeed, but not much of one. He had a large bite mark on his neck, swollen and blackening. His breath was labored. Trixie tried to poke him with a stick, but Stephanie took it from her.

Sportacus crouched beside the man.

"Stay back, everybody," he said nervously. 

"How can we be sure he's not a zombie already?" Robbie muttered.

Sportacus looked at the man, who was feebly reaching for him, making incoherent noises. They couldn't be sure, not really.   
But he saw the mans eyes. They were clear and wet, red from crying. He looked pleadingly between Robbie and Sportacus, as if there was something they could do for him, in his condition.

"He's not a zombie, look at his eyes." Robbie squinted.

"What _about _his eyes?"__

__"Look, he's got... I don't know, a soul? Just look at him." The man gurgled and gasped wetly. It looked like he was trying to talk._ _

__Robbie relented. "Okay, we keep him with us for tonight but that's all. What, don't give me that look- it's not like we can cure him or something!"  
Sportacus pouted. He knew Robbie was right. They needed to keep the children away from this danger. But the man was still human, and it gnawed at him that they couldn't save him from his fate. _ _

__"Are we adding a member to Team Jacob?" Stingy asked. "I don't want any more members."_ _

__Sportacus said nothing._ _

__"No, he's going to die," Robbie said, surprisingly gently. Stingy looked on curiously._ _

__"Die? Can't we do anything?"_ _

__Robbie shook his head._ _

__Sportacus changed Robbies bandages and they made camp. Now that it was clear the infestation was definitely further reaching than Lazytown, that there would be more zombies from here on out, Robbie and Sportacus decided it best that they take shifts keeping watch.  
But they couldn't decide who would go first._ _

__"I'll go, because you go to bed at 8:08 and you'll have no energy tomorrow if-"_ _

__"But Pixel can't fall asleep without you there, you _know_ that!" The boy wouldn't admit it, but he didn't sleep at all without Robbie next to him. He got scared and cold easily._ _

__" _You_ sleep in there, then."_ _

__"No, I'll be able to restrain the man better if he tries to hurt someone."_ _

__"Yeah? Because you haven't been able to stomach any killing so far, and that's what it's gonna take if he turns in the night."_ _

__Sportacus paled. "Well I don't want you out there alone, either."_ _

__"What, think I can't handle myself?" Robbie snarled._ _

__"What if you fall asleep? What if-"_ _

__"I guess we'll both have to go then, huh?!"_ _

__"Fine!"_ _

___"Fine!"_ _ _

__"FINE!"_ _

__"What about Pixel?"_ _

__"He can sleep in the other tent, with Zippy and Pink Girl."_ _

__Sportacus nodded thoughtfully. They went to put the kids to bed, Sportacus helping one tent and Robbie taking the other._ _

__"Goodnight, Sportacus," said Stephanie. She was reading with a flashlight._ _

__"Good night, don't stay up too late," Sportacus hoped they wouldn't be tired tomorrow._ _

__"'Night, Sportacus," said Pixel, lying down._ _

__"'Night night, dad," murmured Ziggy, half asleep._ _

__

__Sportacus' heart felt like it was going to explode._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LOL GUESS WHAT I have no impulse control so I'm gonna go ahead and post several chapters.
> 
> i swear this (might) get more interesting soon and there will be character development or whatever but for now rip @ everyone the gangs just walkin around camping and whatever


	9. Chapter 9

"Stephanie?"

She looked to the owner of the voice. "Oh, I thought you were asleep."

Pixel sat up, rubbing his eyes.  
"No. Too much to think about, y'know?"

She let out the sigh of a girl far older than she was. She _did_ know.  
"It'll get better, I think. It's kinda like... when you move to a new house." He didn't respond, so she continued.

"At first everything's new and scary, and you don't like anything, and you miss your old house. And you're sad because you know you can never ever go back there again. But then you adjust, and you make new friends, and your family's still there with you, and all the things you missed from your old home fade away, because you have _new_ memories of your _new_ home. This is... our new home, I guess." 

"So this is our adjusting period, huh?" He chuckled. "I don't think I'm adjusting very well yet."

"Me neither. But maybe the good parts will come pretty soon."

"I hope so."

"What do you think the city will be like?"

"I don't know. Big and scary, for sure, whether there's zombies there or not."

"Maybe that'll be where we make some new friends."

"Yeah. But I've already got you guys."

"We're not your friends, Pixel, we're... I don't know, more than _friends,_ now."

"We're all like a big weird family, huh? Who's the mom?"

"Well, I don't think there is a mom. I never thought about it that way before."

"Maybe Sportacus is our mom."

"Yeah, maybe."

They both laid there, lost in their own thoughts for awhile. 

"Goodnight, Stephanie," Pixel said quietly.

"'Night, Pixel."


	10. Chapter 10

"Hey, what's all this Jacob and Edward stuff, anyway?"

Robbie let out an exasperated sigh. "Its from a book called Twilight."

"There seems to be a lot of argument about it. I think it's causing problems, especially between Trixie and Stephanie."

"Yeah. You should make everyone read the book and decide on a team name once and for all."

Sportacus considered it.

"Well, Ziggy still can't read," he hedged. _And may never learn, if the situation doesn't change soon._

"True enough. I'll just tell everyone the story, then. Read it aloud, since it's our team name or mascot or whatever."

"Is it appropriate for them?" He knew Robbie secretly enjoyed harlequin romances, and he wasn't sure the kids were ready for that kind of content, from what he'd heard about the genre.

"Pink Girl and Trixie read it before I did. I dunno, I thought it was fine. Read it yourself and see."

Sportacus flushed. He was glad for the dark, because Robbie couldn't see his discomfort.  
He wouldn't read it for himself, but Robbie didn't have to know that.   
He decided to change the subject.

"Today Ziggy said..." he shook his head. Robbie wouldn't care.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Fine." They were silent. " _C'mon,_ tell me." 

"Ziggy... called me dad." He couldn't help his grin.

Robbie was quiet. "That's great," he said. He sounded strangled.   
Sportacus was about to question his tone when there was a rustling sound. He gripped Robbies shoulder. "Did you hear that?," he whispered.

They crept to the source of the sound. The man lay there on his rock, covered in Stephanies blanket, a pillow propping his head. He hadn't moved.   
An object reflected the faint moonlight, moving slowly toward the man.

_Trixie._

What was she up to? She came close to the man and cleared her throat.

"Hello, I'm Trixie and I'd like to welcome you to Team Jacob, even though I know you won't be on the team for long."

She stood awkwardly, as if expecing some response. He got none.

"I brought you a granola bar, I know you probably only want blood by now, or something, but here you go." She started to walk away. The man made a low noise and shuddered. He reached out and grabbed Trixie's arm.

Sportacus jumped out, ready to do...something, anything.

But it seemed there was no danger. The man just patted her wrist gratefully and let her go back to bed, leaving Sportacus feeling foolish. 

His crystal hadn't even gone off.

He and Robbie kept sitting watch. Robbie fell asleep on his shoulder, and Sportacus didn't have the heart to wake him. 

He sat up until the dawn, stroking Robbies hair, and waiting for something to protect his team from.


	11. Chapter 11

He was exhausted already, because he hadn't slept in more than a day. Not to mention that now he was carrying a full-grown man on the cusp of zombiehood. 

Robbie wouldn't stop apologizing for falling asleep on him. It was starting to give him a headache, but he didn't want to complain. He was supposed to be the strong one, after all.  
Stingy was trying to take Ziggys last lollipop, and Ziggy was on the verge of tears.

"Give me some!"

"No, it's my last one!"

"You can't have _all_ of it, we're all hungry!"

Sportacus temples throbbed. Was this how Robbie felt when they played loud games outside? If so, he was _incredibly sorry_. 

"There's other food, Stingy, and I've been saving this!"

Stingy finally managed to snatch it out of Ziggys hands, and Ziggy wailed.

"Kids, please, don't argue," Sportacus said weakly. He didn't have the strength to talk to them; if he tried, he was sure he'd end up yelling at them-something he hoped never to have to do. Robbie looked at Sportacus in concern, and then at Stingy.

"Hey, just because it's the apocalypse doesn't turn us into animals. We don't fight over food," Robbie said with a glare.

"But he wouldn't share!" Stingy shrieked indignantly.

Ziggy cried, "You were trying to steal _my_ candy!"

Sportacus breathed deeply. The shrieks were like needles piercing into his brain.  
Robbie snatched the lollipop away from Stingy.

"No one gets it until you two make up. And stop screeching, you little monsters, you're giving everyone a headache."

Thank gods for Robbie. Sportacus looked up at him gratefully.

"You don't look so good, Sportaloser. Maybe we should take a break so you can sit down, huh?" Robbie said, not breaking eye contact with him, waiting for his response. He hesitated.  
Sportacus wanted to wait until someone else was tired, so he could stop and rest. He didn't want them to see _him_ as the reason they were stopping.  
He knew he was weak today, but he could work through it without them figuring it out. It would ruin their perception of him. If they realized he, their long-time hero, could get exhausted, have piercing headaches, have dreams of all of them alone, slaughtered messily, bitten, or _taken away somewhere he couldn't get there in time to save them-_

He couldn't suck in air properly, and he was shaking. Everything blurred. Robbie was sitting him down with a scared expression, mouthing words he couldn't hear. Stephanie was there, too, holding his hand. He let the world fade out for a moment, falling into nervous blackness. He came back to himself all at once.

"What? Why are you all sitting around me? I'm fine, let's go," he said, hoping it sounded convincing. His voice was too loud.

Robbie barked out a nervous laugh. 

"Sportacus, I don't think that qualified as 'fine' by any definition. What just happened?" He said it so worriedly that Sportacus was tempted to tell him that he couldn't handle this by himself.  
But he couldn't do that. He had to protect Robbie. Robbie, whos stubble was showing, hair un-gelled and falling in his face. Who looked at Sportacus and didn't see a hero, never had. Just a person who annoyed him very much. And Sportacus was so grateful for that, but he still had his duty to protect him. He couldn't break here, who would take care of them if he was too weak?

He stood up and gave a winning smile. "Just a little headache."

Robbie looked like he was going to say something else, but Sportacus was already walking down the trail.  
Sportacus scooped up the man, who was emitting a low, eerie groan in his ear, with no sign of stopping.

His head felt ready to split open.


	12. Chapter 12

This was bad. The man wasn't a man anymore, he was turning into a zombie. They couldn't have saved him, and it was stupid to bring him along, stupid to think they could offer him any comfort. What would they even do with him now?! They would have to kill him, it was the only option.

"We should do it secretly, so the kids don't see," Sportacus suggested.  
He and Robbie stood over the mans writhing form, held down under Stephanies blanket and some heavy rocks.

"What? No, they'll have to do it themselves soon, they need to watch."

Sportacus knew that, but it still didn't sit right with him. They called the kids out to come see the zombie, and they all seemed thrilled.

"Wow, we get to kill another zombie!" Trixie whooped. Ziggy still seemed nervous from his last encounter, but the other kids were chattering excitedly.

Robbie must have seen the look on his face, because he put a hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry, Sportacus, but it's an important lesson to teach them."  
Sportacus knew. He nodded. Robbie spoke.

"Okay, everybody, you remember what I told you about needing to cut the spine, right?" They remembered.

"That's because it's an infection of the central nervous system. I don't expect you to know about that-"

"I know about it!" Stephanie interrupted. "My mom used to read me a book about how it works!"

Robbie suddenly adopted an odd look, but recovered and smiled. "Good, at least one of you isn't _totally_ ignorant. Anyway, you need to sever it somewhere below the seventh vertebra. Which is near the bottom of the neck." He picked up his blade. "Now, I'm going to-" Sportacus cut him off. There was something he needed to say before the killing got underway.

"Kids- look at the zombies eyes, please." They did, peering curiously at the orbs, which were very still, unlike the rest of the thrashing zombie, gazing at some fixed point in the distance.

"what's so important about the eyes?" Pixel asked curiously.

"It's okay for you to kill a zombie, because it will try to hurt you, and it is already dead. Its eyes have no life. See?" He waved a hand in front of the creature, which didn't react. 

"But if there is still life in the eyes, and you kill a living person, that makes you even worse than a zombie. It makes you a _murderer._ "  
Everyone was silent. Ziggy trembled on his feet. 

"We will never kill a living person. We have to kill zombies to survive, but that doesn't mean we get excited about doing it. You shouldn't be excited tot _kill._ Understood?" He practically snarled the last words. He cut himself off. He had never lost his composure like this before, not in front of the kids. 

They nodded, faces stony. Sportacus motioned for Robbie to get on with it. He turned away and heard the sounds of squelching flesh and chipping bone.

The children weren't cheering anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for all ur comments!! Love yall


	13. Chapter 13

They all reeked. No one had bathed for the better part of a week, and while they had clothing changes in their little backpacks, it wasn't enough to quell the stench of seven people hiking in the sun. They had all been aware of the stink for awhile, but only when a stream was discovered by the path did anyone actually mention it.

"Hey, I can take a bath here!" said Stingy.

Sportacus was surprised that he'd suggested it. Normally, Stingy was a very high-strung boy. He was glad for the suggestion, though.

"Let's all take a break here and wash off, okay?"

It was a lot of fun. 

Trixie and Stephanie had a water fight, while Sportacus helped Ziggy bathe himself. No one seemed to mind bathing in the same stream, except Stingy, who insisted on bathing further up so no one would see him.   
Not that you could, anyway. The water was pretty muddy.  
Robbie accompanied him to make sure he didn't somehow injure himself. 

"Sportacus, I'm gonna be just like you someday!"Ziggy said determinedly.  
 _Ziggy, I wouldn't wish the way I am on anyone._  
He laughed. "Oh really? And how is that?"

"You're strong, and you don't ever cry, even when there's something scary! I still cry a lot, but I'm gonna be brave like you someday, just wait." Sportacus smiled at him again.   
Ziggy hadn't seen him last night, waking up from another nightmare and biting his fist to hold in the sobs, so as not to wake the children.  
Or yesterday after they killed the zombie, sitting in a tree to wait until his eyes were no longer red and puffy. 

Yeah. Strong. Right.

Robbie and Stingy came back, Stingy complaining about the muddy water in the stream, as if someone could somehow _control_ how clean the water was. Robbie looked irritated.

"He hasn't shut up since we got here," said Robbie, plopping down on the creeks edge beside Sportacus. 

"He hasn't shut up since he was born, I don't think," Sportacus muttered fondly. Robbie laughed, genuine and rich. Sportacus stared.

"Was that a real _joke,_ Sportakook? At the expense of one of your _brats?_ " He brushed his hair out of his face and smiled playfully at Sportacus, who blushed. 

"I can make jokes," he muttered defensively. Robbie elbowed him.

"yeah, right... Hey, remember that time I dressed up as a clown to get you all to be quiet and let me sleep?"

Sportacus did remember. It was pretty fun, actually, when he did that. Robbies disguises were usually fun.

"Remember that time you sang 'Bing Bang' with us?" Sportacus smiled dreamily. Robbie scowled.

He wished their biggest worries were as simple as they were then- playing, getting a knee scraped, mysterious town visitors that always turned out to be Robbie...

"I always loved your schemes," he admitted. "It was sweet, how you would play with the kids without really _playing_ , even if the purpose was to let you get some sleep." Robbies eyes widened.

"It wasn't. Well, it was, at first- you guys were just so energetic and _loud_. But I became kinda... fond of the brats. You know how it is." He did know.   
He loved them all more than they could probably comprehend.

"Why didn't you ever say so?" He should have said something. They could've had more time, like this, all together, happy. Robbie just shrugged.  
They were quiet for awhile, and Sportacus traced patterns in the mud until Robbie broke the silence.

"You're not mister flippity-floppity anymore. You're different, now." Sportacus sat still.

He had to acknowledge Robbies point. A few weeks ago, sitting still would have been an impossibility for him. Not smiling would be unfathomable. He knew there was a question buried in Robbies statement- _"What's wrong with you?"_  
What was wrong?  
He couldn't answer. He was still their hero. Nothing could be wrong.

"Must be all the canned food. So unhealthy," he said with an impish grin.

Robbie nodded thoughfully. He looked at Sportacus again, an odd expression on his face,

"What is it? Something on my face?" Robbie looked away.

"Your hairs messy. Moustache, too, and you haven't shaved. It's just different."

He looked into the water. His muddy reflection was different than he remembered.

They trailed their feet in the water for a bit, until Trixie started slinging mud balls at people and they had to intervene.


	14. Chapter 14

"Stingy, stop it!"

"But it's mine."

"You can't just keep the blanket to yourself, it's cold!"

"But it's _mine_."

Trixie groaned in exhasperation and rolled over to her side of the tent. Pixel sat glaring at Stingy.

"You need to learn to be more of a team player, Stingy, or you're gonna get somebody killed."

"Killed? Over a blanket?"

"Maybe! Maybe one night we, like, freeze to death! Because you're a selfish jerk!"

Stingy rolled his eyes."That doesn't happen, not in the zombie apocalypse."

"...What?"

"Haven't you seen the movies? You have to die in action, getting bit or shot or stabbed, no one dies of _cold._ "

Pixel just looked at him.

"Goodnight, Stingy." He rolled over and slept.

 

Stingy had nightmares about frozen zombies chewing his legs off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the most important chapter in the whole story... this ones full of action, adventure,,.. stingy bein a bitch,,


	15. Chapter 15

"Welcome to the city!" proclaimed Robbie. They had reached the city limits.

"Everyone needs to have at least two weapons at arms reach when we go in." They got their weapons.

Sportacus chimed in. "Everyone choose a buddy and stay with them if we get separated." Ziggy chose Sportacus and Robbie, Stephanie chose Pixel, and Trixie was left with Stingy.

They entered the city.

The streets were crowded with zombies and a few survivors fighting through them to get to the rows and rows of department stores lining the streets. The kids looked awestruck at the sheer size of the place. Most of them had never even traveled outside Lazytown before. Sportacus quickly moved them along, staying away from the few stray zombies aimlessly shuffling around. They herded the group into a store and closed the door. Sportacus heard Ziggy shriek and turned around, expecting zombies inside. He let out a relieved breath.

It was a candy store. The kids rushed around, taking candy from the open containers. Clearly, others had been here, raiding the candy, but there was plenty left. A child and her mother waved at the arriving kids, continuing to stuff wads of candy into their pockets. They looked friendly enough.

Sportacus sagged in relief. They were able, finally, to enjoy themselves a little, and it brought him hope.

Robbie plopped his head onto Sportacus' shoulder, eating a handful of gummy bears. He looked so happy. It was rare to see that look on him, yet Sportacus had seen him smile contentedly like that several times since they'd left Lazytown, What had gotten into him this past week? 

"So, we're definitely staying in the city for awhile," said Robbie flippantly. The kids laid in the floor, playing marbles with their gumballs while sucking on lollipops. 

Stephanie came to him with a little cut. She had accidentally touched some broken glass from the gumball machine, which was broken open to allow easier access to the candy. Sportacus put a band-aid on it; it was a small cut, but he couldn't stop thinking about the blood. She touched glass, what if she got an infection? What if a zombie smelled it or something? He couldn't heal wounds, how could he save her?   
If Sportacus couldn't even keep her from a tiny cut, how could he protect her from bigger threats? He couldn't think. White clouded the edge of his vision.  
Oh, Robbie was talking to him. Sportacus managed to turn and nod, smiling, pretending he could hear the words over the buzzing in his ears. Robbie took him by the shoulder firmly.

"-nd you're sweating, are you sure you're alright?"

"Yes, Robbie." Of course he was alright. He couldn't not be alright.

Robbie nodded at him slowly and smiled. "Good."   
Sportacus noticed that he still didn't let go of his shoulder.

 

They practically had to drag the children from the store, but promised they could go back tomorrow after they'd found a place to stay.

"A hotel! The top of a hotel!" Was Stingy's insistence. 

Stephanie and Trixie seemed to agree, so they searched for a hotel.

"Well, I don't know how we can even begin to look for a hotel," said Sportacus. 

"Um, Sportastupid, can you _read?_ There's a sign up there," he pointed. There was a sign. Sportacus shrugged.

They made it to the hotel with no major incidents. People were already living there, though, and seemed somewhat suspicious of the newcomers.   
"Hello, we would like to stay here, if that's alright?" Several old men looked up from their card game in the lobby. They glanced at the five kids with shocked expressions.  
"Anyone can stay here, we don't own the place," grunted one of the card players, without looking up. He wore an enormous pink hat, ratty and worn. Sportacus could hardly see him beneath it. The guy next to the hat man nudged him and motioned to Sportacus. 

The hat man finally looked up, and Sportacus saw something unrecognizable flash across his expression. 

"You're back, you're... you're..." He sputtered breathlessly.

Sportacus raised his eyebrows in confusion. The hat man stared, and laughed bitterly.

"-Never mind. You just look exactly like someone I know."

The other men muttered to him fearfully. 

"No, no, it's not him. He's not coming back here," the hat man said sadly.

They decided to go ahead and look for a room, in case the hat man decided Sportacus was... whoever he'd thought he was. Those men looked shady, and Sportacus certainly didn't want any trouble. 

There was an empty room on the 9th floor, which the kids claimed as theirs. Robbie and Sportacus would stay across the hall. Sportacus didn't like the idea of leaving them alone, but Trixie said it would be more fun that way, and the grownups could get more sleep, and the kids would lock the door, they promised. When they put it that way, he couldn't refuse.

Robbie flopped onto the bed. Sportacus sat down at the foot of it and picked at his fingernails.  
The sun was setting, leaving deep trails of maroon and flesh pink across the darkening sky. Deep liquid sky, dripping away into darkness. Sportacus stared into the sunset, heavy with the weight of its color. He couldn't look away.

"What's wrong, Sportacus?" a voice asked softly. Sportacus jumped.

Robbie had been waiting to ask this question, that much was obvious. Robbie never voiced anything serious until he'd sat on it for quite awhile, waiting for the right moment. And he had used Sportacus' name correctly.

"You said my name correctly," Sportacus laughed. It sounded like cardboard.

"Stop that. Answer the question," Robbie snapped. He looked startled at his own anger. "Sorry, I... Please. You're not okay, and I'm worried about you."

Sportacus knew he was breaking, that he couldn't remain this way much longer before they all found out. Someone would catch him staring at nothing, or crying, or he would wake up screaming and it would all be over. He couldn't protect anyone, and pretty soon they would all know it.  
Tears pricked at the corners of him eyes and Robbie looked at him in alarm.  
"Hey, it's okay," Robbie tried to soothe him by taking him into an embrace.  
He shook his head and frantically tried to scrub his eyes with the heels of his hands. Nothing was wrong. He was fine. Nothing was wrong.

"Please tell me what's wrong," Robbie whispered. He couldn't make Robbie shoulder his problems.

"I can't," he choked out.

He was crying all over Robbie, who was still quietly listening, waiting to see if he'd say anything coherent, rubbing his fingers in circles on the back of Sportacus' neck.   
He cried and cried and finally fell asleep on Robbies shoulder. Robbie put him to bed, promising himself that he would have a long talk with Sportacus in the morning. And if not in the morning, then sometime soon.


	16. Chapter 16

Sportacus' eyes snapped open. He sat up and looked around, then remembered where he was, took a deep breath and fell back onto the bed.   
Robbie was still asleep beside him, face smushed into the pillows. Sportacus bit his lip to hold back a grin. Robbie looked so vulnerable like this.   
He laid there in their shared warmth for a few moments before getting up to do his daily stretches. It was early; the sun had barely begun to rise, and he figured he had awhile before anyone else woke up. 

Robbie stirred at Sportacus' movement and reached out to grab at the receding warmth. He opened his eyes and startled when he realized he was clutching Sportacus' arm. 

"Don't think I forgot about last night," he muttered sleepily. 

Sportacus tensed. _Don't think he forgot?_ What did that mean? 

"There's nothing wrong with me, Robbie," Sportacus said meekly. 

Robbie stared at him. "Okay, no, we need to talk about this. I know I'm not the best about _emotions_ or whatever, but even I can see this. You space out a lot, and I've noticed. You can't push your issues aside all the time and expect to come out of it okay."

He gripped Sportacus arm. "Talk to me. We're a team, it's okay to ask for help." Sportacus flinched at his touch.

"But I'm the leader, I shouldn't need help! If the kids saw how poorly I'm handling this, that's- There's no way they would trust me to protect them, if I can't even handle myself."

"Bullshit." Sportacus' eyes flicked to Robbie. He never cursed. "That's stupid, you shouldn't have to carry the team alone, Sportakook, it's not fair, and it's not necessary. Those kids, in the other room? They held off _three zombies_ with a slingshot and a kitchen knife. They don't need protection 24/7." Sportacus looked at his lap.

"I'm not saying they don't need to be looked after, but have a little faith in them- they can handle stuff better than you think, and they'll understand if you're struggling."

Sportacus smiled weakly. "But... I wouldn't be their hero anymore." 

Robbie rolled his eyes and sighed. "You're not a hero, Sportacus. You're just a person like the rest of us, idiot."

That was the most comforting thing anyone had ever said to him.


	17. Chapter 17

They laid in bed, just talking about nothing for awhile. It was nice. Sportacus had never laid in bed with somebody and talked before, and he thought if he were going to do it with anyone, he would prefer it to be Robbie.

"I think I'm going to shave my head," said Robbie. 

"Why? Your hair is nice."

"Now that I have no hair gel, it's always getting in my face," he blew a strand from his cheek, as if to illustrate his point.

"You could tie it back."

"No way, that'd look ridiculous!"

"Yes, but so did the hair gel."

"Hey!" He slapped him playfully. "I'll have you know I have a fantastic sense of style."

Sportacus laughed. It was the first genuine laugh he'd had in awhile. It felt good.

"We probably better go find some breakfast for your brats, huh?" Robbie said.

"They're yours too, Robbie," he breathed, smile blooming on his face.

Robbie muttered and rolled off the bed with a thud. 

"Are you okay?" called Sportacus. 

"Yes, I meant to do that," Robbie said loudly.

 

They crossed the hall and went to the kids room. Sportacus did the secret knock they agreed upon, and Stephanie tiredly came to the door. Glancing in, he saw evidence of a pillow fight the previous night. The kids must have been really hyped up from all that sugar. Pillows were strewn around the room, children in all positions snoring away on the floor and bed. He smiled softly. 

"We're going to have breakfast and then look around the city. Can you please wake the others?"

Stephanie nodded and yawned.  
Sportacus closed the door, and he and Robbie walked down the stairs into the lobby. The hat man was there again, and he laughed when he saw them.

"The spitting image! The very spitting image, both of you!" He took off his hat and offered it to Robbie, who took it cautiously.

"Go on, put it on." His eyes twinkled with mischief. Robbie did, and the man laughed until he cried.

They went outside to get away from the crazy old man, who had insisted that Robbie keep the hat.

 

It was a bright day, and the sun shone down upon the barbed wire fence that kept the undead out. Such barbed wire surrounded many of the buildings, and seemed to be effective in keeping the zombies at bay, so long as the gates remained closed. Sportacus' chest panged- if they had put up fences in Lazytown, could they have stayed? Survived there? He wondered if it would have been much different from here.

Robbie nudged him. "You were spacing out again."

"Sorry, just thinking."

"About?" He clearly wasn't going to let this go.

"Thinking about Lazytown. Should we have stayed?"

Robbie looked at the clouds going by. "No, I think it would have just been a reminder of what we were leaving behind anyway."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, nothing's ever going to be the same, is it? If we'd stayed, we would just be forced to think about the old days all the time, when everything was simpler. It was still going to be a whole different ballpark, no matter where we went."

Sportacus nodded. "When did you become the optimistic one, huh?" He muttered.

Robbie frowned exaggeratedly. "Honey, I don't think either of us could be called _optimistic_."

He opened a can of peanut butter. Sportacus had an unsweetened granola bar. Soon the kids came out, ready to explore the city.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmu on tumblr, im @thelastaircatcher.tumblr.com.


	18. Chapter 18

"Wow, I never knew there were this many kinds of clothes!"

Stephanie was trying on pants, and Ziggy and Trixie raced through the aisles, playing hide and seek.  
They told the kids they could run around wherever they wanted in the store, as long as they didn't leave the store. Sportacus hated that plan, quite honestly.  
While there were no zombies inside, there were _people_ , and he wasn't sure the children knew about stranger danger. Robbie assuaged his fears slightly by reminding him each child had their weapons, and some mace which they took from another store earlier in the day.

"Dad, I'm hungry," Pixel said to Robbie. Robbie choked on nothing.

"Um, okay, get all the other brats together and we can look for lunch," he said. 

 

Pixel got the others together and they left the abandoned mall. It was an interesting city- some places were still inhabited by business owners who made their living through barter, and some were abandoned free-for-all areas that people raided for food or lived in. They went to a nearby bakery.

"Welcome to- oh my! Children!" a woman exclaimed in delight. "I haven't seen any children in weeks, how wonderful! Are they all yours?"

She looked up at Sportacus and Robbie. He started to speak, but was interrupted by Stephanie.

"Yes, and we would like to trade something for some lunch, please!" She said it as adorably as she could muster.

The woman squealed and shuffled back to get them some rolls.

"They're all homemade," she said proudly, handing one to Ziggy. He ducked shyly behind Stephanie.

"Sorry, he's not used to meeting strangers," Sportacus tried to apologize but the woman waved a hand.

"That's alright, would you all like to stay for lunch? It's just so nice to see a family nowadays. My husband will be back soon; we're having... well, bread. I wish there was more, but most restaurants have closed down for lack of ingredients, so there's not much variety. We hardly have enough ingredients left to continue, either," She sighed, thinking.

Pixel and Stephanie exchanged looks. "We're going to start a vegetable garden," Pixel said shyly. "Or, well. We'd like to."

The woman chuckled deep in her throat. "That would be lovely, dears. Please let me know when you harvest, I'll trade with you."

A tall old man came stumbling in the door, waving a pistol at the zombies who tried to come in behind him. He locked the door.

"Oh, welcome back, honey! Look at all these kids, aren't they precious?"

The man nodded, looking a bit overwhelmed by all of them in the one room. Sportacus held out a hand.

"Pleased to meet you, I'm Sportacus."

" Ah, Lolly Obtuse. I, uh, brought some cheese to go with the bread." He tripped on his own foot and barely managed to right himself. "Ha. Maybe I should've brought more for the little ones."

"No, no- we just came to trade for some bread, really, don't go to any trouble."

"What do you have to trade?"

Sportacus glanced to Robbie. Robbie dug through his bag, pulling out several cans, a blanket, and one of his modified can openers.

"What is that?" Lilly pointed to the weapon. Robbie briefly explained its function, and the couple looked intrigued.

"Huh! The spine, I never knew. That'll get you 6 rolls," she said. They made the exchange and left quickly, because the kids were getting too rowdy to stay inside. 

"Y'all come back soon!" the old woman called. 

"Hey, you didn't get a roll," said Robbie. Sportacus shrugged.

Robbie tore his in half, giving the larger piece to Sportacus, who smiled gratefully. He bit into it, and it was warm.

"What? Sportacus didn't get a roll? Why didn't you say so!" Ziggy turned around and tore a little piece off of his, too, handing it to Sportacus with his rubbery little hands.

_Maybe it was alright to ask for help after all._

 

Ziggy complained of a toothache as he was carried back to the room that evening. Sportacus wasn't sure what to do about it, though- there wasn't a practicing dentist anywhere near. He helped Ziggy with his bath. It was a miracle the water was still running, and he made note to make a backup plan for if the city water shut off.

Sportacus chased them around the room and eventually got them all to bed, though he was almost certain they would not stay there, judging from their pillow fight in his absence yesterday. He went to his room across the hall and did pushups on the floor. Robbie soon walked out of the bathroom, toothbrush in mouth.

"phhss chuphub?" toothpaste dripped onto his chin.

"Finish brushing, then speak," said Sportacus, grinning fondly. 

He ducked back into the bathroom to spit in the sink. "Will you cut my hair?"

Sportacus wasn't expecting that. He nodded and got the scissors from his backpack. Robbie leaned over the sink, wavy hair flowing over his neck. Sportacus already mourned its loss. He snipped locks of hair carefully, and tried to remember how long he'd wanted to get this close to Robbie. For Robbie to trust him with scissors on his neck. Maybe forever? But only after being forced by their circumstances to be around Sportacus was he able to trust him with things like this. He wondered if Robbie really wanted _him_ to cut his hair, or if it was a necessity, like their bed sharing, or Robbie gripping his shoulder when he spaced out. He knew Robbie only did those things because they needed Sportacus healthy and fit enough to be part of the team. Was this "asking him to cut his hair" thing something with the same motivations, or were they truly friends?

"All done," he said at length. 

Robbies hair was no longer a heavily styled lump, nor a cascade over his ears. It was cropped close enough that Sportacus could see the pale scalp underneath, the grey hairs starting to emerge at odd intervals between the black. He wanted to run his fingers through it, massage the constant worry from Robbies neck, shoulders, and work his way downward-

He shook his head to clear it of those ridiculous thoughts. Robbie scowled at the mirror. 

"Well, at least it won't be in my face anymore," he sighed. "And I've still got makeup to make me look decent."

Sportacus yawned and nodded. "You look beautiful anyway, Robbie." Robbie froze and stared at him.

"Thanks." he sounded pleasantly surprised. Sportacus smiled. They clambered into bed and slept.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> barter- does that ever happen in zombie stories? or is it a stretch to think people would do that?  
> because idk how else people can survive with no form of currency other than just total chaos and everyones killing each other for supplies. which does happen in a lot of zombie stuff, but i have a little more faith in humanity than to think there isnt SOMEONE who would create a relatively stable way of life with minimal violence. What do you think?


	19. Chapter 19

Sportacus wasn't sure where he'd gone wrong; he tried so hard to keep them all together. But Trixie had run off, chasing Stingy to try and get something he'd taken from her- a blanket, or something stupid like that. He called to them, but they were out of sight. It was too late. He searched in the dark, increasing the volume of his shouts at every turn. The sky went darker. He tripped on something, and turned.

There they were, both of their lifeless bodies, and a third body which was not as dead as it should have been. It opened Trixies neck with cracked fingers and drank the red from within, lapping at it like an animal. It didn't see Sportacus; its eyes were dead, glassy things, devoid of sympathy or remorse. Stingy looked alive, healthy but for a thin trail of blood from his nose and a second from his back, where the unmistakable marks of teeth blemished his spine. He couldn't save them. He didn't get there in time to save them. 

Stingy sat up and grabbed Sportacus' foot. his eyes were clouded over like the creatures, and his face contorted into a silent scream.  
Sportacus couldn't kill him, though it was clear he was no longer himself. He couldn't even kill the thing that had made him this way. He couldn't do anything. He coul-

"Sportacus. Sportacus." Someone was shaking him, quietly saying his name. He blinked. His throat hurt. He was in the hotel bedroom, and Robbie was holding him.

"Robbie. Sorry, I was. Just." Robbie looked at him expectantly. He cleared his throat. "Did I wake you up?" 

Robbie huffed quietly, staring at him with a wrinkled brow. "You were crying in your sleep."

Sportacus didn't meet his gaze. "I'm sorry, I can't help it."

Robbie looked appalled at the admission. "How often does this happen to you?" He narrowed his eyes. "And don't lie to me."

Sportacus pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to calm down. "About every other night. I try not to do it loudly. I'm sorry." Robbie looked upset at that.

"Not do it lou- Sportakook, you gotta tell someone about this stuff! What were you crying about, huh?"

Robbie was petting him, making little circles on his shoulders, and it was nice. _It's okay to ask for help. You're just a person, not a hero._

"I was dreaming about zombies," he said quietly. "The kids were gone and I found them but not in time, and they didn't make it, and what if that _happens,_ Robbie, in real life?" Robbie brought him gently to his chest and held him close.

"It won't." 

That shouldn't have made him feel better, but it kind of did. Or maybe it was just Robbie, holding Sportacus like _he_ was the one to be protected, not the other way around. Sportacus sat there, listening to his heartbeat, feeling his chest move in and out, in perfect content.

"Do you think you can go back to sleep?" He nodded.

They slept again, curled against each other as if they were longtime friends or lovers, though until two weeks ago they'd been nothing to each other. Sportacus had just been the town hero, Robbie the town villain, and they never would have wanted anything like this.

 

Although, as Sportacus ran his fingers through Robbies hair and ached for the scent of his old hair gel, he realized that wasn't necessarily true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been a fun few fluffy chapters, more plot is up soon


	20. Chapter 20

"Come on, don't be like this. The kids like it here!"

"The city's getting more dangerous."

"Every other city's the same, Sportastupid. Best to just work through it."

"We don't even have _water_ , Robbie. And how are we going to make it through winter, huh? We don't have coats! The kids clothes are wearing out!"

"They are going to be so mad if you make us leave. They've just settled in."

They were arguing in the lobby, and the old men were clearly hearing every word of it. Sportacus couldn't bring himself to care much.

"I'd rather have everyone be angry at me than be dead."

Robbie sighed. "Let's talk about this somewhere private, please."

The hat man stared at Sportacus all the way out of the lobby. He hoped he wasn't going to come kill him or something.

 

They went to their room. Ever since the city water had shut off, as well as electricity, things had gotten a lot harder for everyone. They had some water purifying tablets in the camping gear, so when they stopped being able to find bottled water in warehouses they could survive off of rain, but it was approaching winter, and with no heating and few clothes, he wasn't sure how they could stay here.

They had gone to the bakery several times and become friends of the owners, who bought little weapons and mechanical things from Robbie in exchange for food, until the bakery closed due to lack of ingredients. Stephanie and Pixel had started a garden in the windowsill of their hotel room, and so far it was small, but growing steadily. He hoped they would soon have an opportunity to make it larger and to make money off of it, but most of the barter stores were shut down completely, due to food shortage and robbery. They'd mostly resorted to raiding abandoned buildings and warehouses like everyone else. 

The city was getting more violent. People laid dead on the streets not only from zombie attacks, but also human ones, desperate for food or gas or _anything_ to get from one day into the next. Sportacus didn't let the kids go out so much, anymore. He would bring one or two of them along for the raids, but never all of them at once. He and Robbie took requests for anything specific they wanted brought back, and if they saw it, they'd try to get it for them. Mostly they wanted toys or batteries, which were in abundant supply- people weren't too concerned with those things when looking for food.

 

They walked silently up the stairs to their room. The door closed with a click and it was several moments before Robbie spoke.

"Sportacus, we can't leave, where would we even go? You know everywhere else is just like this, I-"

he was interrupted by Stephanie and Ziggy entering the room. Sportacus startled. He'd foolishly forgotten to lock the door.

Stephanie spoke timidly. "Hey, we were wondering if we could go on a raid today?"

Sportacus nodded. "Stephanie, you can come along. But you," he picked Ziggy up and tickled his belly, "are too little for that kind of thing."

Ziggy sighed, little heart crushed in disappointment. Sportacus glanced to Robbie and they shared a look.  
They would continue their discussion later; for now they needed to go look for supplies.


	21. Chapter 21

He, Robbie and Stephanie had just gotten back from a raid in an old storage building several miles away, and gotten several boxes of dry goods before a man with a gun threatened them. Robbie was now excitedly telling the story to the other kids.

"What happened then, Robbie?!" Ziggy bounced up and down, eating dry cake mix from a bag. The sight still made Sportacus a little sad, but there wasn't a healthier option.

"Well, if you'd stop interrupting, I could tell you. So this guy is about six feet tall," Sportacus exchanged a look with Stephanie. Robbie was exaggerating greatly, and the kids were eating it up. Stingys eyes widened to the size of plates.

"He's got a gun on Sportacus, right, and Sportacus is just looking at him, and the guy says 'Give me your boxes' and Sportacus just stands there. So the guy shoots!" He slammed his hand down onto his thigh, making several of the kids jump.

"...And misses, because _Sportacus ducks!_ He ducks from a _bullet!_ And while he had the gun on Sporty and I, he didn't know Steph was there, because she was behind some crates when he came in. And so we're just standing there and he thinks he's got us, when she sneaks...up..." He leaned in close to Pixels face. "And hits him with a bottle!" He swung his arm. "Knocked clean out, right, Pink?" 

That was absolutely not what happened. It had been a lot less action heroics and a lot more talking down a desperate, starving man. They'd ended up giving him some food and letting him go on his way, and though Stephanie did briefly knock him unconscious, she apologized afterward. 

The kids looked at Stephanie the same way they often looked at Sportacus or Robbie. 

"Wow! When do I get to go on a raid?" Ziggy squealed. 

"You're not old enough, stupid, you'll get hurt." Stingy sniffed haughtily. "Just like on Walking Dead."

He was always referencing these movies Sportacus never heard of, and it was slightly concerning to Sportacus just how many zombie movies Stingy claimed to have seen. 

"He's right, Zippy, you can go when you're a little older, okay?" Robbie patted Ziggys chubby cheek and hoisted him onto his shoulder.

"So, what do you guys wanna do now?" Sportacus quickly changed the subject before Ziggy upset himself more.

They wanted to play cops and robbers. Sportacus was a cop. They chased each other around, giggling and screaming and chasing for awhile until there was a knock at the door. Sportacus froze and motioned for everyone to go into the bathroom. He slowly walked to the door and opened it a crack, weapon in hand. 

"Hello," drawled a low voice. It was the hat man.

"Hi, what brings you to our room?" Sportacus smiled uneasily.

"Ah, you and those... children..." he looked like he'd swallowed a lemon "are being very noisy. We are trying to play chess downstairs." The hat man was clearly trying very hard to be polite. Sportacus chuckled under his breath. Too noisy, huh? He reminded him of Robbie. An older, more dangerous version, perhaps.

"We'll be quieter, right kids?" They were peeking through the bathroom doorway. "Come out and say hello!"

They fell over each other coming out of the cramped bathroom. The hat man scowled when he saw them. He took Stephanie by the shoulders and looked her up and down, then glanced at Sportacus and Robbie with a glower. 

"You've got your kids wearing _this garbage?_ "

Sportacus looked at her. Her pink dress was partially tucked into some jeans they'd taken from a clothing outlet, and she wore mismatched socks. The dress was somewhat ratty, and the jeans had a large reddish brown stain on the side, but he didn't think she looked too bad, considering everything.

"what's wrong with it?" Robbie ventured cautiously.

"What's wrong wi- Seriously?! Honey, you know your dads are idiots, right?" he said to Stephanie in a mock whisper. She giggled.

"All of you, come with me." The kids looked to Robbie, who shrugged and nodded for them to follow, putting a hand into the pocket which contained his knife.  
The hat man led them downstairs to the lobby, where the old men always sat. They looked up at the parade of children and then at the hat man. 

"I'll be back soon, boys, I've got some things to attend to." They shrugged and went back to their game.

The man led them down the hall to a room, which Sportacus assumed was where he lived. The door creaked open, and the kids eyes widened in amazement. The room was full of racks and racks of clothing, enough to make Robbie jealous. There were clothes of all kinds- from dresses to overalls, stacked and hung and strewn crazily around the room.

"Alright, let's see- which one of you has a fashion sense?" His eyes fell on Stingy. "Here, boy."

Stingy seemed conflicted; should he be flattered at being chosen as special, or indignant at being addressed like a dog? He stepped forward.  
The hat man dug through a box and pulled out a vest, mustard yellow and made of soft, rich material.  
He held it up against Stingys faded vest and nodded thoughtfully, pulling out pants to match. 

"What do you think, kid?" Stingy stuttered out a thank you, clearly pleased. 

He had clothes for them all, of high quality and bright, flamboyant color. He was an energetic man and swooped about the room like a hawk in flight, purple cape trailing behind. Stephanie was given several dresses, patsuits and gowns, all in her size and in perfect complement with her skin and hair, while Trixie got cargo pants and wife-beaters, to her delight. The hat man seemed to take a liking to Stingy and Robbie, due to their percieved higher sense of taste, and their shared dry sense of humor. Ziggy got onesies with striped patterns, Stingy got a variety of suits and vests and ties, and even a tiny crown, Pixel got pajamas and capes and goggles. Everyone got a heavy coat in deep purple.

Everything fit perfectly. Sportacus wondered if the man was somehow magical- how could he have clothes in perfect sizes for everyone?  
They stayed in the room with him long into the night as he gave pickpocketing advice, told stories, and pulled jewelry out of cracks in the wall to give to the girls.  
The kids fell asleep soon after midnight, calmly snoring away in the mounds of clothes. 

"Thank you," Sportacus said quietly. 

He felt that it didn't accurately express his gratitude- the children had just had a chance to be active and have fun with someone outside of Team Edward/Jacob, which was a rarity. Robbie met someone with shared interests and talents that Sportacus and the kids couldn't relate to. And they'd gotten new clothes.  
The man cracked a grin.

"No, no, I should be thanking you- I've never seen someone bear such a striking resemblance to a certain old friend of mine, and it let me remember the good old days, just seeing you two. And your kids, they're really something." He glanced at the sleeping children. "I don't get much company besides those fools in the lobby. Feel free to come by anytime," he said casually, though Sportacus thought he seemed a little too nonchalant for it to be genuine.

"Of course," Robbie blurted, then looked embarrassed. "I mean, we would love to."

The hat man grinned widely and leaned back in his leather chair.


	22. Chapter 22

They had been in the city for awhile, now.   
Robbie stopped keeping track of the time in his head, though he was certain _someone_ still did. He didn't care much, himself. He was happy to let the days go by.

The kids were allowed to go down to the lobby and play with the old men, now, and go to the hat mans room and help him make clothes. They weren't allowed outside the gate though, except on raids. It was easy to keep them inside, since the gate stuck closed unless pulled with great effort. More zombies appeared in the city by the day, and Robbie didn't want Sportacus' frequent nightmares about the teams deaths to become reality. More and more, he was thinking of "those dumb brats" as "Robbies dumb brats," and was hesitant to put them in any kind of danger. 

"Robbie, my tooth still hurts," Ziggy tugged at his pant leg. He rolled his eyes and scooped him up onto his lap.

"Say ahh." Ziggy opened his mouth wide. Robbie was no medical expert, but he didn't see any cavities (which, considering that it was Ziggy, was actually surprising.) 

"Hmm, I don't know what's the matter. Can you show me which one hurts?" Ziggy nodded and pointed to one of his front teeth. Robbie touched it gently and it moved. Ziggy made a noise of pain, so he pulled his hand back. Wouldn't want the kid to bite him. He hesitantly pressed on it again, and again it moved.   
Robbie felt a smile spread across his face.

"Zippy, there's nothing wrong with you- you have a loose tooth!" The child just looked at him in horror.

"I'M GOING TO LOSE MY TEETH?" he shouted. He looked ready to cry. Shit.

"No, well yes, but you'll grow new ones! Big boy teeth!" He grinned. 

"We have to show your da- uh, Sportacus. He's gonna be so proud." The kid was really growing up fast. Robbies eyes felt a little wet. 

"Robbie, are you proud of me too?!" He kicked his legs, now excited to be a big kid.

"Of course I am. Now go tell everybody about your tooth." He set him down and the kid was off like a rocket.


	23. Chapter 23

He laid in bed that night with Sportacus. Sportacus hadn't shaved in weeks, and his hair had gotten longer, now splayed against the pillows and tickling Robbies nose. Robbie ran his fingers through the long, soft strands. He laid back, and just as he was falling asleep, Sportacus spoke. 

"He's going to lose his tooth soon."

"Yeah." He couldn't keep the smile from his voice. 

It was quiet for a moment, and then Sportacus spoke hesitantly. "What are you so happy about, lately? It's not just the tooth, you've been... chipper."

Sportacus rolled over to face him. It was true. He _was_ happy. 

"I've always been alone, it seems like. But now, with you guys, it feels... I don't know. And it's selfish but I'm glad this whole zombie thing happened." He felt himself go rigid with shame, even as he continued speaking. "...Because before, there's no way- I would never have considered this an option for me, would've missed my chance, just like I did in Lazytown, over and over, and I wouldn't have had you guys. I think of all of you as like...family? Or something. I know it's stupid." 

Sportacus was looking at him like he wanted to kiss him or something, which he was certainly reading wrong, because that was ridiculous.  
He pulled him into a tight hug and they stayed there in silence.

Sportacus whispered into his ear.

 

"So who's the mom?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sportacus "The Moment Ruiner" Lastname


	24. Chapter 24

They went outside some mornings and talked, just Robbie and Sportacus. Today the sky was light but it was foggy enough outside that they couldn't see the sun. It looked like rain was ahead. They opened the rusty gate to the hotel, which was stuck again. Sportacus finally managed to push it open, then entered the street and yanked it closed with some effort. Zombies shuffled around in clusters. Robbie killed two on the walk down the road, and Sportacus turned away. Robbie was getting disturbingly efficient at doing that.  
They hurried inside the abandoned jewelry store and closed the door. Zombies clawed at the windows. The city had a never fading stench of decay, from the ever growing population of zombies, and they were seeing fewer and fewer living people around. This made it easier to find supplies, but harder to get to them through the masses of zombies.

Today, there was someone else inside the store. A man who looked to be around their age, maybe a little younger. He was pale and somewhat thin, though it was hard to tell from the way he was hunched over in the still dim light. He was munching on a bag of coco puffs and reading. He turned, and Sportacus saw the dark circles under his eyes. 

"Hello!" he called out nervously. "Uh, wouldja like some coco puffs? I know, I know they're not good for you, but it's all I got, yo," he shrugged.  
Sportacus exchanged a look with Robbie.

"Ah, no, we were just looking for somewhere quiet to talk, we can go somewh-"

"Bruh! It's fine with me if you stay up in here!" He grinned. "I won't eavesdrop or whatever, I'm just reading, y'know,"

Robbie nodded slowly. They walked to the counter and leaned against it. 

"So, did you have any dreams?" Robbie started.

"Yes, just one about Pixel and Stephanies garden; we were all growing pumpkins there, for some reason. And Ms. Busybody was there. No nightmares." He smiled. He hadn't had quite as many nighmares since he'd started sleeping with- well, sleeping next to Robbie.

"I haven't given her much thought since we left," Robbie said sheepishly. "Do you think they're okay?"

Sportacus didn't really want to think about it, so he just nodded. "Probably." 

They both knew the optimism was unwarranted.

"So, we still need to decide whether to leave the city or not."

Robbie looked at him with a furrowed brow. "I thought we were over this; we have coats and clothes now, and enough supplies to last til spring. Then maybe we can have a garden, and what could go wrong-" Jives laughed.

Robbie glared at him, but he appeared to still be immersed in his book. "...Why would we leave town?" Robbie continued.

Sportacus thought about it. He knew this couldn't be permanent, the city was getting too dangerous, even with their supplies. They had 5 children to take care of.

"Robbie, there has to be somewhere safer to go."

"Safer? Where are we going to find a place that's any safer?"

Jives closed his book and stood up, wobbly and malnourished. 

"Hey, can you guys be a little quieter? I'm almost done reading the last chapter..."

"Sorry," Sportacus sighed. "Can we talk about something else, then, Robbie?"  
He shrugged. "Yeah, we can talk about something else."

Rain spattered down outside and clouds blanketed the sky. A drop rolled down Sportacus' spine and he shivered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love all your comments thank u everyone who read this and ESPECIALLY thank those of you who enjoy it!!
> 
> also let me just say that JKDFHFGD I LOVE JIVES and i wish he were in more fic


	25. Chapter 25

Stingy looked on in annoyance. 

"You guys are literally watching grass grow. How can you even _be_ more boring?"

Stephanie made a face at him. Pixel didn't even bother, just kept looking at their stupid plants. They had them in a row by the big window, in buckets. Since the electricity was gone, Pixel had been passing the days trying to build solar powered devices, though with his lack of supplies, he was struggling. Stephanie tended the garden like it was her weird green child and helped Pixel look for substitute materials to build little machines. She was learning fast, and they traded technical jargon back and forth now faster than anyone else could keep up with. 

Ziggy, the baby of the team, wanted to play and color all the time, so they took turns playing childish games with him, though some of them were swiftly growing out of the games they'd once enjoyed. When he ran out of paper, he colored on the walls. He wasn't bad at drawing, for his age, and their room was full of his colorful depictions of superheroes and robots battling it out.

Trixie wasn't happy, it was clear. None of them were glad to have left Lazytown, but they tried to adjust to their new home as best they could. Her favorite activity nowadays was shooting targets at different distances with toy guns and her slingshot, which seemed to help with her boredom and discontent. It also made her deadly on raids when she had real weapons. Right now, she sat in the hall, trying different rubber bands on her slingshot to see which produced the best result for shooting long distances. Everyone else had a fun little hobby.

Stingy didn't know what to do. Sure, it was fun to play with the others, but without his various possessions he felt naked. He had some shiny things hoarded, and they gave him great comfort, but weren't useful for finding things to do with his time. He took to claiming the others possessions, but there were only a few. The others were getting annoyed at him for it, too.

He tried shooting with Trixie, but quickly go bored. He played with Ziggy for awhile, but the kid was just so sticky all the time, he needed breaks. And he would _not_ sit there with Stephanie and stare at plants.

Stingy scratched his back. He wished they could watch a movie or something. Or that the apocalypse would be more exciting, with constant gun battles and all that. So far, everyone had just gotten progressively more irritated with him. Stingy sometimes wondered if they still liked him at all.

He walked to the nightstand and picked up Trixies copy of "Twilight," that Edward and Jacob thing she and Stephanie were always talking about. Last night, she had asked everyone to choose their team, so they could have a team name once and for all. Well, it wasn't like he had anything better to do.

 

He turned to the first page and started reading.


	26. Chapter 26

"Where's Trixie?" Stingy asked absentmindedly, turning the page. He hadn't seen her all day, and wanted to ask her how she could possibly like this book. Pixel looked up. 

"Probably playing with Ziggy. I'll go look." He stood up, leaving Stephanie to continue assembling whatever little machine they were working on today. 

Stingy went back to reading. The werewolf guy, Jacob, was warning Bella about Edward. Stingy scoffed. Obviously she already knew he was a vampire; even if he hadn't told her, who wouldn't know? He looked at the cover, with the pale hand on it. No one could really be that pale without being a vampire, could they? He glanced at his own arm. ...Oh. Maybe they could.

Pixel came back into the room. "I didn't see her in the hall. She's probably with Mr. Glaepur."

"Who?"

Pixel rolled his eyes. "The hat man. You seriously never asked his name?"

Stingy had never thought to. Who cared about the crazy old coots name, anyway? He'd be dead soon. Stingy felt a little guilty thinking that, because he really did like the old man. He had so many _things_ , all for Stingy to have if he wanted them.

"Whatever." He marked his page and put the book down. 

Stephanie pressed her face to the big window. "Wow, look at that," she said to no one in particular. Stingy glanced at the window and did a double take. Outside, a huge group of zombies had amassed around the hotel.

"Good thing for the fence, huh?," Pixel muttered. 

Stingy walked down the stairs to look for Trixie and tell her how stupid the book was.


	27. Chapter 27

Trixie scowled when Stingy entered the room.  
She was under a big blanket with Ziggy, drinking cocoa and listening to the old man tell stories about crimes they weren't totally convinced actually happened, and Stingy had to come in and ruin her good mood like always. Stingy greeted Mr. Glaepur cordially, eyeing their blanket. It was very pretty and soft, with an elaborate red design woven into the middle. 

"Trixie, I'm almost finished with the Twilight book, and I'm here to tell you it's the worst thing I've ever read. There's hardly any good action scenes." 

She looked at him. He never had anything nice to say. His eyes drifted again to the blanket.

"Mine," he announced, pointing at the blanket. Once, she would have put up with it. But her rope was wearing thin with Stingy's antics; unlike Lazytown, they no longer got to go home and take a break from him. She shook her head.

"No, Stingy, there's other blankets and we were here first," she tried with slight irritation.

He snatched the blanket and ran. Trixie was after him in an instant, Ziggy close behind. The hat man laughed. She chased Stingy out into the lobby, but he didn't stop running. Why did he always do this?!

"GIVE IT BACK STINGY!" she was furious. He opened the glass doors of the lobby and took the blanket outside, where the screaming rain mingled with the low wailing of zombies.  
It didn't faze her- she was going to get that blanket back. He had done this too many times.

"It's just a blanket, Trixie," he yelled. The wind swallowed his voice. It wasn't just a blanket, it was everything he took from the group, every time he complained when everyone else bucked up and dealt with problems, every casual insult to things she liked.

"You're always doing this, Stingy, you're so selfish, I hope you DIE!" She screamed the last word. Stingy took a step toward the fence. Ziggy whimpered.  
She turned around, remembering that he'd followed them outside. He was shaking, either from cold or fear, and she suddenly felt her anger deflate. It was just a blanket, just Stingy being himself. They would just... keep dealing with it.

"Sorry, Ziggy, let's go back in," she said, sparing one last angry look at Stingy, still there with the blanket.  
They could get a different blanket, they didn't have to get it back from Stingy. She walked inside without another glance back.  
This was a better way to deal with his stupidness anyway; let him stand alone in the rain with his stupid blanket-

The gate creaked open.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dont u love cliffhangers ;)


	28. Chapter 28

It was like a movie. 

Trixie had just gone inside, and he watched as the undead flooded in through the gate. What exactly could he do? Hold them off? Well, he had his machete, so he could try, but there were so many. Enough that their collective weight had opened the firmly stuck gate. Stingy only weighed about 90 pounds, but the heroes of action movies could do this, so maybe he could too. He glanced to the door.

 _Ziggy's still here_.

"Go inside, Ziggy!" the zombies were shuffling in at an alarming speed. Ziggy didn't move.

"No! I gotta help you fight 'em!" 

Stingy was frantic now; he ran forward and hacked at a spine, but there were so many more. Ziggy had to go inside, he was too small to fight them. He had to be convinced.

"I stole your blanket, though, remember, you shouldn't protect me!"

Ziggy didn't move. 

"...Sportacus wouldn't fight, would he? You wanna be like him, right?!"

He didn't hear Ziggy anymore over the wailing of the creatures and the crack of his machete as he hacked away. 

"Robbie would fight them, though, I wanna be like Robbie too!," he heard Ziggy yell, and groaned. Couldn't the kid just-

Ziggy pulled out his own weapon, one of Robbies can opener things, and promptly ran behind a zombie to chop at it. The kids eyes widened as it fell backwards on top of him, smothering him under its weight. Stingy turned his back on the advancing horde and dropped the blanket to yank Ziggy roughly out from under the thing. He shoved him in the direction of the door.  
This time, Ziggy didn't hesitate to run away.

Stingy felt a sharp pain to his leg. It seemed Ziggy hadn't killed it after all; its jaws were now locked firmly around his ankle, digging its teeth into him, and he felt the sickening slide of its gums against his tendons. He swallowed a scream. This was it, he was going to die.

Ziggy was almost to the door, now, he'd wanted to say some kind of action one-liner, what would he say? His last words...

"ZIGGY!"

Ziggy turned and stopped for an instant.

"Tell Trixie... I'm Team Edward," 

He didn't know if Ziggy heard it or not. For some reason, that stupid sentence seemed more important than the dramatic phrases he'd practiced in front of the mirror. He cursed himself. They were to the door now, he was sure, he was between them so tightly he couldn't breathe. At least Ziggy had gotten inside in time, he could warn the rest and they could go up the stairs, maybe make barricades...Surely it was a good way to die, in the place of someone he loved. Noble, even.  
Stingy suddenly realized that he loved them all, and regretted everything he'd done to sabatoge himself. Maybe it was the pain, but he would give anything to make amends, even for the things that weren't his fault, he was sorry- 

He felt teeth on his spine, hands grabbing at his arms. There was an unnatural crunching sound. Heroes of comic books made it seem so easy. Stingy'd given a lot of thought to how he would die, but even so, he never imagined it like this. He thrashed uselessly, not feeling brave at all, and he knew he wasn't going to make it out this time. No one was coming for him. 

Resignation clogged Stingy's throat, or perhaps it was just the stench. They never talked about the stench in the movies, either, or the terror. He felt the skin of his back being torn off, the squelch of fat bringing a fresh wave of nausea, and he had the vague sensation that he was being chewed on. This wouldn't be quick, it would be slow and humiliating. Screwing his eyes shut, he felt his own warm blood roll over him, pain numbed slightly by the relentless freezing rain. Black tinged his vision, and he felt salty rain on his face. He had a sudden realization.  


 

_The movies lied._

 

The rain turned to hail, then to a gentle snowfall.  
The winds became tender whispers across the city, and the clouds dispersed.  
It was a beautiful day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another chapter of fluff :) :) :)


	29. Chapter 29

Robbie and Sportacus knew something was very wrong. The gate was open, and many zombies had assembled into a group, blocking ther way to the entrance.

"Robbie." Sportacus gripped his arm tightly and pointed to the snow. 

A long stain ran into the hotel. Something had happened. Something bitter and cold settled into Sportacus' stomach, and he blinked back the white in his vision. Now was not the time to space out. Sportacus took out his gun and shot a zombie.  
Robbie stared at him in surprise, then he too began hacking at the things, fighting his way desperately to the entrance. 

They ran inside and bolted up the stairs. By the time they reached the 9th floor, Robbie was gasping, but there was no time to stop.  
The hat man sat on the stairwell, covered in browning stains and holding a shotgun. Before him was a poorly made barricade of pillows and furniture. 

"Who," Robbie gasped out. The hat man didn't meet his gaze.

"The Stingy boy. He was outside and the gate opened, he's-" Dead. About to die. _Somehow unbitten and miraculously okay._

He sighed and beckoned them over. They were led to the kids bedroom, into the cramped bathroom. Reddish brown fingerprints stamped the side of the tub. Fishing string, a bottle of alcohol, bandages, and a stapler sat in the sink. In the tub was the frailest thing Sportacus had ever seen. 

Stingy was pale, paler than he'd ever seen him, and was covered in several layers of clothes and blankets. Only his head peeked out. He looked so small, none of his usual haughtiness hung about him.

"Is he going to die?" Robbie asked. 

"Maybe, maybe not. "

Sportacus' gaze flicked up. Maybe not? That was too much to hope for. "Wasn't he bitten? Are you saying there's a cure?"

The hat man licked his lips, looking very uncomfortable. "Well, you're not going to like this, but I already sort of, ah, severed his spine. He was only bitten _directly_ on his legs and back, the rest of him was eaten after they... tore it off," Sportacus nodded numbly. 

"-So the infection will not spread. But he _will_ still probably die. If not, he'll be- well, miserable. I can't imagine it would be fun to survive with this kind of injury, in a world like this."  
The hat man looked at them like he was waiting for something. Finally he spoke again, slowly, like he was a teacher explaining something difficult to a small child.

"It might be more merciful if you ended his suffering."

"No," he blurted. He couldn't lose a child. He wouldn't, if there was the smallest chance of keeping him. The hat man looked at Robbie, who nodded almost imperceptibly. 

"Right. I'll leave you to it." He left, and Sportacus heard him telling the children a story, trying to joke around in the other room while his clothes were still stained brown-red. Heard Trixie crying on the other side of the wall. The bathrooms silence echoed more than it should have in such a small room.

"Should we kill him, Robbie?" his voice was dull. Robbie was silent for several minutes. He took in a breath.

"He still has a soul in his eyes. That's what you said, right? He still- fuck-" Robbie raked a hand down his face. "He's still our brat. I don't know."

Sportacus took him into a hug, and they sat there for a very long time, Robbie muttering strange prayers under his breath despite having no religion to speak of, and Sportacus staring at the wall. He reached out and held Stingy's tiny, pale hand. It seemed like Robbies painful grip on his arms and Stingys hint of a pulse were all that tied him to the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> youve all been PRANKED HAHA DID YOU THINK I WOULD KILL OFF MY OWN CHILD?! no


	30. Chapter 30

Glanni felt a tiredness in him, bone deep.  
He'd fought off zombies, carried a dying child in through the snow, run up 9 floors, and severed the kids spine in a dirty bathtub, among other things. At his age, too.  
But what made him tired wasn't all that, he'd seen worse on a few memorable occasions. What tired him out was what he was doing right now.

"And then, I went inside to steal everyone's Christmas presents, but I was't there long before someone else showed up..."

The children were clinging to his every word. He couldn't blame them; they needed a distraction. He wasn't sure he could keep the group happy for long, now that they'd seen what the apocalypse could do to their group, now that they knew they were not immune to mutilation and death. Trixie had already left the circle, overwhelmed, and now sat in the corner. She'd cried for a very long time, and seemed to have fallen asleep there, leaned against the wall. He didn't know why she was so goddamned upset, it wasn't as if he was dead _yet._ Kids were so melodramatic.

"Comforting children" was not an item on his bucket list, and he was sure he was doing a very bad job of it. His solution to that sort of situation was usually just to try not to think about it. But then again, he wasn't a child. He didn't know how their weird, gross little brains worked. Glanni could only hope to placate them. It wasn't as if he had anything better to do; the MayhemTown gang were in a room across the hall, sleeping or playing card games like the boring, cranky old men they were. This was at least slightly entertaining, he hadn't had an audience pay such close attention to his rambles in years.

"...I didn't know who it was at the time, so I told him to kindly leave, because I was about to steal those presents and I was there first,you know, that's how it works, thieves honor and all that- not that I personally follow any of that, I mean really, if you're a real criminal you don't have that "honor" bullshit- and he told me he was there to GIVE people presents. Can you believe! Anyway..."


	31. Chapter 31

Stingy mumbled and screamed in his sleep as well as when he was conscious. Sportacus knew this because for the past two weeks, he and Robbie had taken turns by the bathtub, sitting with him. He was improving very slowly. 

No one had left the hotel since the Incident, and they were running low on food and medical supplies, but he didn't even want to think about someone going outside. He didn't need to imagine the possible consequences, not anymore. His bad dreams were merging with reality, and now more than ever he caught himself staring at walls, caught himself biting the inside of his cheek hard enough to taste blood. Everything Robbie said about trusting the kids to take care of themselves was wrong, he couldn't leave them, because the moment he left it would happen again.

Stingy was conscious right now, bathed in sweat. His gaze flickered wildly as he remembered where he was.  
Sportacus was afraid to embrace him for fear of injuring or scaring him, so he settled for brushing his hair back out of his face, where it had fallen- a greasy mess unlike the careful part he'd maintained even long after they left Lazytown.

"Hey, Stingy," he said quietly.

"Sport- I dreamed... I was laying there, and nobody, um, nobody came," he let out a pained noise. Well, at least he was speaking.

Sportacus nodded. "I know, you're safe now, you're going to be fine." He repeated the mantra several times- similar to what Robbie did for him, so he hoped it would help. He didn't know exactly how much of the statement was a lie.  
Stingy took in strange, choked breaths. That couldn't be good for his injuries. Slowly, he calmed down.

"Do you,uh, have dreams like that?" Sportacus nodded.

"I do. About the rest of the team getting hurt and dying, and- Well. You know." He wasn't sure that going into the details would be wise.

Stingy smiled bitterly. "Yeah. Guess I'm selfish; I only dream about _myself_."

Sportacus jaw snapped closed with a click. He didn't think he could speak to the falsity of that statement without getting angry or crying, so he just shook his head. "I'll get you some pain medicine."  
As he crossed the hall to get the pills from his first aid kit, he mentally kicked himself for the way he handled the situation.  
Stingy had never said anything like that before, and since Sportacus had just _left_ , he might not open up that way again. 

_Great job, Sportaflop._


	32. Chapter 32

Stingy groaned and leaned against the wall. He was on the pain medication they could find, which unfortunately wasn't as much as he probably needed.

"Hey, Stingy," Sportacus tried softly. He usually didn't respond coherently when he was on stronger painkillers, but Sportacus tried.

"Hey dad," Stingy giggled. "Hey. Hey."

Sportacus managed a weak smile. He seemed strangely happy. Probably the drugs.

Stingy's eyes widened in sudden fear. "...Did he get in? In time?"

Sportacus nodded, though he had no idea what Stingy was referring to. He jerkily moved his arm around the tub, patting it and saying "mine," several times, and finally nodding as if reaffirming the statement to himself. Then he reached for Sportacus and repeated the uncoordinated process, humming a little tune, too.

"I wanna read, Sportacus, bring me Twilight, I wanna read, it's the only book we have. It's on the nightstand." He got up to look for the book.  
Trixie sat on the bed, tapping her fingers on her leg. 

"Can I borrow this?" he asked politely. She seemed to snap out of her daze. "Oh, yeah, sure."

He took the book back to Stingy.

"Read it to me!" Stingy tried to clap but his hands missed each other.

"Ah, I actually can't." He flushed. 

"What? Why? I'm sick, you're supposed to do things for sick people!"

Sportacus couldn't meet his gaze. He wouldn't begrudge Stingy this, not when he was in such bad shape, not _ever._ It was such a small favor to ask, and yet he couldn't even do that. When did he get so bad at this?

"C'mon, I'm SICK! Are you illiterate? Can you not _read?_ " He whined, working himself up.

"No, Stingy. I can't read." He had never told anyone that before; it was so embarrassing.

"What? Why not?! You read the stuff we used to send you in the mail, right?"

Yes, he had, sometimes. "I can read simple things, but not much, and it takes me time. I grew up in an Elf town, in the woods, and most emphasis was placed on athletics, so I never really learned." He shrugged, feeling guilt clog his throat. "I'm sorry Stingy, I can't read a complex book like this."

Stingy closed his eyes, and Sportacus thought perhaps he was going to go to sleep. 

"Well, I'll read it to _you_ , then. And I'll teach you to read!" A bold statement. But he was grateful that Stingy was speaking, and that he seemed excited about something for the first time since... well, if Sportacus was being honest, even before the incident.

"Okay, Stingy! Read on!" he smiled brightly.

"Ahem. ' _I'd never given much thought to how I would die-though I'd had reason enough in the last few months-but even if I had, I would not have imagined it like this._ '" 

They were off to a start.


	33. Chapter 33

Sportacus lay beside Robbie in bed. Stephanie was sitting up with Stingy for awhile, so they'd had some free time. Sportacus did a few pull ups on the door frame, then realized the time.  
They talked for awhile about the kids activities, and the strange weather of late, until Sportacus couldn't keep avoiding what he wanted to say.

"We're leaving town as soon as he's well enough."

Robbie didn't speak, just nodded. This wasn't negotiable anymore; there was too much danger, still too many stains left in the hallway carpet. They needed to move on. As good as the city had been, it was time. 

_Another ending. No matter how perfect the day is, it always has to end._

Sportacus idly wondered if they'd have a place to call home ever again. He looked at Robbie, whose face was breaking out slightly from their lack of recent showers. Dark circles graced his eyes, courtesy of late nights up with Stingy, and his shoulder bore a scar from the earlier days, when he'd rescued Pixel and Trixie. He wore pajamas the girls and Ziggy picked out for him, pink and blue with tiny dogs and apples on them. They were a little too small for him, gangly and awkward as he was. His nails were dirty and cracked, and his wrist had a dark scab.

 

He was so pretty this way.

 

Sportacus smiled into his pillow. 

"What're you looking at?" Robbie grumbled sleepily.

"Nothing. Goodnight, Robbie."

"'Night, Sportaflip."


	34. Chapter 34

"What are those?" Stephanie pointed to his sketches.

"Oh, I was gonna make a little heater for the room." 

"That's great, Pixel! What do you need to make it? Can I help?" 

Of course she could help. She was the only person other than Robbie who really understood machines at all, and she was quickly becoming his best friend. They could have assembled it fairly quickly out of spare parts,but there was a severe lack of suitable materials. Pixel was sure they could just go find a heater somewhere, but...where? Besides, Sportacus didn't like them leaving the _room_ , much less going out into the streets. 

Their garden was doing poorly, due to the lack of heating in the building. But, like everything else, there was little he could do about it. Pixel was feeling more and more helpless in the face of this lack of technology. 

"Where does this go, again?" 

"Ah, right there, to hold the heat transfer surface."

"What? We can't make-"

"Yeah, I know. Not enough materials. It was worth a shot though," he shrugged. "We can just keep using blankets."

They got the big blanket and laid under it together.

"Pixel, what do you think we're going to do in the future?"

They talked about this a lot, it was one of their favorite pastimes.

"Well, obviously we'll build something cool to live in, like a giant greenhouse, and start a community. What do you think?"

"Hmm. I might get married, and make a cure for zombies, and make really neat stuff for the greenhouse."

"Great idea! I wonder if anyone's thought of that? A cure. Huh."

"I bet the cure is something silly that no one thought of, like sugar."

"SUGAR!" Ziggy looked over.

"We don't actually have any sugar, Ziggy," Pixel said apologetically. All they had was canned food and dried food. They'd already run out of sugary things for now, between Robbie, Ziggy, Mr. Glaepur and the rats of the building.

Stephanie tinkered with the partially finished heater. It was junk. She sighed.

"I wonder if stuff's gonna get better for us."

He shrugged. "It's not so bad. There's no use in crying..." 

"-You gotta keep trying. Yeah, you're right, I guess." She turned to Ziggy. "Hey, Ziggy, stop drawing for a minute, let's play a game."

"A game?!" she nodded.

"Let's play pirates, it's been a long time since we played that."

They played for awhile, and tried to get Trixie to play, but she wasn't very engaged in the game.


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ART FOR THIS FIC!!!! THE FIRST ART ANYONES EVER DONE FOR ME HGFDFS
> 
> it's here and I love it: yugissisterdeath.deviantart.com/art/robbie-rotten-657176721?ga_submit_new=10%253A1484336314
> 
> if anyone else wanted to make art that would be really cool :)

"Sportacus, are you even listening?"

Stingy was talking to him. 

"Sorry, Stingy, I-"

"You were doing that thing you do where you go all still." He blinked. Stingy noticed?

"It's no big deal, Stingy. See, I'm fine." He smiled brightly, stood up and spun around to make his point. Stingy rolled his eyes.

"You know, I don't believe that at all. I'm aware that you're not perfect, Mister still-can't-read, don't act like you are." He hesitated for a moment. "Ziggy does it now, too. I haven't seen him have a tantrum in awhile, and I think he really needs to, sometimes, so cut it out."

Stingy's bluntness wasn't a new trait by any means, but it was still unexpected.  
Only Stingy could lecture someone about acting more okay than they actually were while lying paralyzed and painkiller-high in a bathtub. Only Stingy.  
He loved the kid so much.

Sportacus shrugged. "Maybe Ziggy stopped having tantrums because he's just happy. Anyway, he's getting really good at drawing, huh?" he deflected.

Stingy nodded. "Yeah, the walls are covered in his stuff. Most of it's robots or whatever, but he's done a few of all of us, too. And a pig that I really like. And one of us all dancing." He gazed at the wall for a moment, then shook his head and looked condescendingly at Sportacus. 

"Anyways. Try this next sentence, it's Edward talking."

"Okay. Um. 'So you...fa-in- faint. faint at the si- sight of blood, he ask- aske? asked. This seem-ed"

"Seemed. The E is silent."'

"...seemed to en-ter-tain him. I didn't answer..."

This was good. He'd never gotten much chance to spend time with Stingy like this; he seemed different, somehow, in the bathtub. Smaller, easier to talk to, now that they had something in common through the nightmares.  
He wished they didn't have that specific, unfortunate thing in common. But then, dreams weren't usually equivalent to reality.  
He dreamed a lot. For a better life for them all, for Stingy not to suffer, for Pixel and Stephanie to have what they needed to build and grow things, for Trixie not to require her shooting skills for survival anymore.

Of course, these things would likely never happen.

That night, he dreamed of eating a salad.


	36. Chapter 36

They were on their way to who knows where. 

Glaepur stole a truck (though he'd claimed the guy "just offered the keys to him for free") and they all piled in. Since almost no one else (living) was still in the city, it was an easy feat to get several containers of gas into the trunk for the journey. Hopefully, this would be a safer alternative to walking. 

"Hey, you trying to kill me?! Slow down on the bumps!" Stingy whined. Ziggy was pushing him in a stroller they'd found on the sidewalk.  
He didn't want to think about the fate of the original owner.

"Sorry, Stingy, I can't help it."

Stingy rolled his eyes dramatically. "Whatever." 

He tried to reach for the water bottle stored in the mesh pocket of the stroller, but missed twice before managing to grab it. Sportacus was beginning to suspect that more thsn just his legs were affected by his paralysis, but he was no doctor.

Stephanie and Pixel walked together, him carrying some tools and her pink stuffed animal, and her carrying a box of their clothes.  
They were talking secretively and giggling about something. Trixie had boxes of canned goods and weapons in a wagon, and shuffled along, staying behind most of the group. 

"Sportacus, look at this," Robbie called from the truck. It was an old Chevy: faded red, with large, rounded fenders and a bulbous cab. He cartwheeled over, feeling energetic. 

"What is it? Oh!" He hadn't taken a look at the front seat before.  
Robbie grinned and pointed at the small plastic girl on the dash, wearing shells and a shiny hula skirt. He flicked the toy, and it shook.

"This thing's got style!" Robbie said proudly. Sportacus wasn't sure that their definitions of style exactly matched up, but he was willing to go with it. 

He glanced over the sleepy kids, carrying all that they owned in their hands. He smiled brightly. This was a road trip, it would be fun! As long as no one ever wandered out of his line of sight, everything would be great, and he could manage them all and stay positive, too.

Robbie drove, and Glaepur took shotgun. Sportacus sat in the back to make up for lost sleep while the kids jostled each other and argued.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glanni got sick of those MayhemTown old farts and went with Team Edward-or-Jacob instead.
> 
> updates might be a little further between, now, because I'm busy as heckkkkk but I will still update tho. thanks for reading!!


	37. Chapter 37

Stingy twisted his seatbelt. Trixie was beside him, still not up to any of her usual tricks. This was the first time he'd seen her since before his little accident.  
Everyone else had visited him in the bathtub, since there wasn't much other interesting stuff to do, he guessed, but he didn't remember her coming to see him at all. Though, of course, she might have visited and he just forgot it in the haze of pain and pills and...everything else.  
Either way, here she sat, staring down at her hands. It was unnerving.

"Hey, Trixie," he tried. She didn't respond. He couldn't deal with the silent treatment, not when he was immoble in a car for who knows how long.

"Trixieee!" Still nothing.

"TRIXIE!" He poked her in the ribs. She jumped at the contact, then looked back down at her lap.

"What is it, Stingy?" she sounded annoyed.

"Let's play a game or something."

"I'm not really in the mood." His eyes narrowed. That wasn't true, she was always in a game playing mood. What was up with her lately?

"Aw, Trixie, you're really gonna refuse to play a game with someone who can't even walk?! How low of you!" He packed drama into the sentence, making the most shocked expression possible. 

She hesitated, then shook her head. "No, dummy, I just don't wanna talk to you."

"What? Why?" She shrugged and looked out the window. Geez, why was everyone being so obnoxious? 

"But I didn- is this about the blanket? Are you still mad about that?"

"I'm _not_ -"

"So why are you mad at me?"

"I'm not mad at you!"

"Then why won't you play with me? Why didn't you come visit me in the tub?!" He was getting too worked up over this, and he felt a pull in the stitches in his side. 

"I just don't wanna talk."

"C'monnnn! We could be in this truck for hours!"

"Whenever we talk, we fight."

"Not true."

"Yes it is!"

"Why don't you want to fight, then?!"

"That's what got you all... like this! Because of me and you, fighting because you were being a selfish jerk. And then you did someth- you saved Ziggy. That wasn't selfish at all, I was wrong, I'm sorry." Her voice faded to nothing. Over Ziggys screaming and laughing from the tickle fight in the front seat, he could easily have misheard. But he was fairly sure he hadn't. Trixie was such a dumb idiot sometimes, he hadn't _meant_ to be not-selfish by saving Ziggy. He did it because it was the only thing to do. It didn't make him some kind of... martyr, or hero- he was still selfish old Stingy, same as always, just minus certain abilities like walking. And controlling his bladder. So it was totally ridiculous for her to give him the silent treatment over it.

"So that's it, you were just gonna avoid me forever." She said nothing, scowling at her feet. He rolled his eyes. "That's dumb, you can't do that, we live together."

"Whatever."

" So we're friends, right?"

"Whatever." Her voice had a choked quality to it.  
He smiled and held out a hand, and they shook on it.

They played chopsticks after that, and Stingy lost, because his fingers wouldn't do what he wanted. It was a pretty fun truck ride, anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys check out my blog im thelastaircatcher on tumblr (for the few of you still following this story lol)  
> also no updates this weekend I'll be out of town :(


	38. Chapter 38

The countryside was beautiful. Sportacus didn't know where they were going, but the expanses of green were a nice sight. Well, for the first few hours anyway. Now it was starting to get old. They passed the occasional farmhouse, and the sun sank lower in the sky. It was time to find a place to spend the night. Robbie must have been thinking the same thing, because soon he stopped in the driveway of a red brick house. The truck sputtered.

"Sportaflop, wake up. We need to check out the inside of this house." They needed to be sure there were no zombies or hostile people inside. 

"Mmm, okay, Robbie." He stretched and rolled from the truck, and they got their weapons together.

"Kids, lock the doors and don't do anything 'til we get back, okay?" They nodded. 

Sportacus closed the door and felt a strange wave of deja vu. He took the safety off his gun as Robbie had taught him to do, and stepped into the house.

It was well furnished and seemed... lived in. Vases were placed fashionably around the room, with artificial flowers inside. It wasn't dusty at all, as if someone had been tidying it. He supposed it could just be that it hadn't been robbed yet. Wouldn't hurt to check, though, anyway.

He beckoned Robbie into the next room, moving as slowly as he could to avoid alerting possible residents. They checked the bathrooms, living room, bedroom, and finally moved on to the tiny kitchen. No one was there. Sportacus was satisfied that it was abandoned. 

"Okay, I think-"

"Water." Robbie pointed to a glass on the counter. Sportacus nodded. 

"Yes? What about it?"

"Water with ice."

He nodded, uncomprehending.

Robbie rolled his eyes. "Ice, Sportadunce. Iced water in a cup, with a _lipstick stain. In an abandoned house?_ "

Oh. His eyes widened. _Oh._ Someone _was_ living here, then. Had they missed something? Was someone here right now?  
There was a faint clatter in the other room, and he lifted his gun, moving carefully toward the sound and nodding to Robbie to follow. He peeked around the corner, gun at the ready.

A flash of pink ran right into him, knocking him slightly off balance. She gazed up at him, brown eyes wide and expectant, and he sighed.

"Stephanie, I told you to stay-"

"I know, but there's- Ziggy- well, come out and see." She shifted from foot to foot. 

Something happened with Ziggy. She looked nervous and happy, so it couldn't be anything bad, right? He hesitated, then nodded, and they headed to the door. It couldn't be anything bad. But then he remembered his vow to himself that he wouldn't let them out of his sight. And he had. But Stephanie was walking them out with an excited bounce in her step, so nothing like what happened last time could have happened, not in the few minutes they were gone, could it? Did he miss something?

His gaze fell to her collarbone. There was a smudge of fresh blood on her shirt, a tiny blot that wasn't there when he left them in the truck. He felt a cold drop of sweat roll down his neck. That wasn't there before; someone bled. Something happened. They crossed the living room and Stephanie stumbled slightly. Sportacus' hand twitched, wanting to help her, but she regained her balance by herself. Stephanie was still smiling, was she trying to keep him calm before he saw the damage? He would stay calm, then, and wouldn't run to the truck like he wanted to.

Sportacus stopped at the door, hands trembling, unable to reach for the knob. His vision blurred and he felt a sinking sensation, like he was falling. Hands were on his shoulders, but he couldn't see them anymore, he could only picture what must have happened all over again. Someone was hurt or dead outside- all because he'd failed to watch them, and was continuing to fail now by not going out there to them. He felt waves of cold self loathing wash over him, slowly ebbing away as the world came back into focus after what felt like hours. Robbie was grasping his shoulders, and the kids sat around him on the couch. They stared at him.

He looked around groggily. Robbie smiled tightly at the movement. Looking around, Sportacus could easily see that everyone was present and relatively fine. So what was the blood on her shirt?

"If you're all here, who's hurt?" he said quietly. Robbies brow furrowed.

"Hurt? Nobody's hurt."

"Stephanie has blood on her shirt."

Stephanie glanced at her shirt and did a double take. Robbie paled, and Stingy glared, unimpressed, from his seat on the arm of the couch.   
No one spoke for a moment. Pixel nudged her, and Stephanie sheepishly muttered her explanation:

"Ziggy lost his tooth, we were gonna show you. That's where the blood is from."

They were all looking at him with strange expressions of fear, and he felt a fresh wave of shame roll over him. He'd had a meltdown over a lost tooth. He'd frightened them. Absolutely pathetic.  
He felt his vision blurring again, and he curled into himself.

Ziggy looked at him and smiled, gums red around his fresh gap. "I never knew you could cry, Sportacus!" he giggled.

Why was he smiling? This failure as a leader should have made Ziggy disappointed in him, if anything. _Why was he jumping on him?_  
As Ziggy nestled into his side, safe, not mangled at all, Sportacus suddenly realized just how exhausted he was. Robbie would protect them all while he rested, safe between Robbie and Ziggy and Stingy. 

"I freaked out about the blood too," Stingy mumbled. He didn't doubt it.

Ziggy was pressed into his neck. Sportacus sighed and allowed himself to lie back. 

 

Glaepur stumbled out of the bathroom, hands full of makeup he'd shamelessly stolen from the houses former inhabitants.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M BACK!!!


	39. Chapter 39

Ziggy liked to draw, and he was really good at it. He liked to draw robots, birds, superheroes, and pirates, mostly, but his very very favorite thing to draw was his friends. 

Tonight, he left the bed of the red brick house and went to the kitchen to draw again. His crayons spilled across the tile, worn down and broken from frequent use. He chose a pink one.

He used to draw Stephanie as a pink blob, always dancing, always smiling, but now she was different. A little sadder, a little less pink, A little less of a blobby scribble. Still always smiling, anyway, a different kind of smile he couldn't quite get right yet. He drew her surrounded by flowers and hammers and gears, for when she built things and grew things. 

She was almost always drawn next to Pixel, since they were always together in real life. That's where the robots came in, because they built stuff that Ziggy didn't really understand, but was still very impressed by anyway! He had a hard time drawing Pixels hair, and it always came out looking like french fries. Ziggy huffed and tried to salvage what work he'd done on the hair, but it wasn't much good. He tossed the orange crayon stub aside with a little more force than necessary. Best just to move on.

He was really great at drawing Trixie! She always had a weapon in hand, and really neat socks she seemed to find everywhere. Her clothes were dark and shouted "I'M COOLER THAN EVERYBODY!" and her voice shouted that, too. She usually had a speech bubble floating by her head, saying curse words she taught Ziggy secretly, and other stuff like that. Lately, though, she seemed a little bit... quieter. Probly because of what happened with Stingy, but Ziggy didn't want to risk asking her. She might punch him.

Stingy was easier to draw, now, because he didn't bother with drawing the arms and legs anymore, he put them under white bandages. But he always gave him a very sour face, because he was kind of rude, sort of... most of the time. He couldn't brush his hair anymore, and he wouldn't let anyone else do it, so it was kind of a mess. All of him was kind of a mess, and in the drawings he came out looking sad. Ziggy always drew him next to his pig, which had been lost sometime back. He tapped his chin, trying to think who else to draw.

Mr. Glaepur was really hard to draw, because his clothes were so bright and complicated. But as long as he gave him kind of a grumpy look and a fancy coat, he looked like himself, so Ziggy was satisfied. Robbie was similar- he always looked a little grumpy, not as much as Mr. Glaepur, but just a little bit. He was so nice to Ziggy nowadays, though. And Trixie liked him the best, so he gave him a nice smiley face, even if it wasn't always true to life. Robbie did smile a lot more than he used to, so maybe the truth of the drawings was becoming the real truth in life, or something. He wondered idly if that could actually happen, and resolved to draw everyone with a smiley face to see if it would work. 

Sportacus had always been the easiest person for Ziggy to draw, in their Lazytown days. He was simple: A hero, always happy, always strong, always there for people in need. So Ziggy just had to draw a striking pose and a big smile, and there was Sportacus! Ziggy was honestly never sure how Sportacus managed it- he never got tired or sad, and Ziggy felt those things _all the time,_ especially since they left home. He tried really hard not to, trying to impress Sportacus and maybe be more like him, but boy was it _really hard!_

He had trouble drawing everybody's portraits for awhile, because he wasn't very practiced at drawing, and didn't know exactly what everyone looked like just by memory. But spending time with them all and practicing hour after hour had made Ziggy a pretty good artist, in his opinion. He knew them all well enough to draw them true to life.

But he finally realized that something was missing. He had neglected drawing them all accurately, up until tonight. Up until Sportacus cried from fear. Up until Sportacus wasn't a hero anymore- no. Ziggy shook his head. Sportacus was _never_ a hero, and now he saw it clearly. Sportacus was something else just as important. Nowadays he spent less time encouraging them all to play outside, and more time reading Ziggy childrens books (for some reason he wouldn't read anything very long) and holding Stingy in his lap. Less time encouraging them to eat healthier, and more time bringing them food to eat. He scolded them more. He hugged them more. He wasn't perfect anymore, probably never was, and he wasn't a superhero. He was... Something.

The blue crayon clattered quietly onto the tile and rolled under the counter. Ziggy made a mental note to get Stephanie to help him reach it- his arms weren't long enough to get under there. Ziggy looked down at team Edward, finally complete. Everyone sat around Sportacus, who was not in a heroic pose, but a curled one, sleeping under the blanket with Stingy. His hat was off, hair rumpled and cheeks stained, finally true to life. 

Ziggy was happy with it, and set about writing everyone's names under their picture, so you could tell who was who, if you couldn't tell by the drawing.  
Because you kind of couldn't, unless you squinted.

He wasn't _that_ good of an artist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I changed it a little, just so you know!


	40. Chapter 40

"Shut up!"

"No, _you_ shut up."

She stuck out her tongue, and he tried to slap her, but his arm wasn't cooperating, so she ducked away.

"Seriously, Stingy, you can't go outside! Look at you!" 

He recoiled. It had always been a dream of his, to lie around all day while others did his work and looked after him. But with the amount of pain and pity and doubt he went through on a daily basis, he wasn't sure it was worth it.

"I'm not saying _today,_ Trixie, just eventually."

"You think you'll wake up one day and be able to walk, huh?" She looked both annoyed and concerned, and Stingy wasn't sure which one to be more offended at.

"Lower your voice, you'll wake everybody up," he hissed. "Anyway, what's so wrong with wanting to not sit around for the rest of my life?"

"What are you gonna do, then?"

"Something. I don't know yet." 

She sighed and rolled her eyes. "Let me know when you figure it out."

"Yeah, will do." He paused, feeling the sudden urge to insult her. "you dumb Piggy."

Her eyes snapped up, ready to be angry at him. "Piggy?"

He flicked her pigtail and raised his chin, trying to hold back a laugh. "Mhm. "

She stared contemplatively, and nodded her head. 

"Piggy it is."

"What do you wanna do now?"

"Let's eat, I brought the freeze dry meals in and I'm pretty sure there's spaghetti."

"We would have to build a fire to cook that."

"Exactly. So as long as we try not to burn this place down..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this ones a little filler-y, because the next one's more in depth. I love all your comments thanks for reading!!


	41. Chapter 41

She wanted a bath sooooo badly! It was just too much trouble to heat it up herself. She made a note to get Milford to do it, later, once they got back to the house.  
Maybe they could share a bath- though the tub was a little too small for comfort.  
She hummed, considering, and the zombie squirmed under her foot. She planted her heel firmly into its back, watching the point sink in with practiced impassivity, and waiting. That was the last one, now it was time to find Milford. She turned to her companion.

"Would you be a dear and pass me the crowbar?" 

Penny pulled it from her mysteriously deep pocket and the two of them set to work prying the door open. She was almost sure this was where they had him; to be quite honest they weren't very good at covering their tracks. The door quickly cracked, and Bessies stilletos reverberated across the room. A warehouse. A muffled sound came from the other side of the room.

She motioned to Penny, who held the shotgun, and they crept around the boxes while trying to go unnoticed, but the men had already heard the door open. Their whispers echoed eerily in the space.

"Who's there? We hear you!"

No point in secrecy anymore, then- Bessie and Penny walked into their line of sight. Two men stood by Milford, who was tied to a stool. Penny shot them both.

"SHIT!" Bessie rubbed her temples. "Every day I get a step closer to tinnitus, Pestella."

Penny shrugged, not looking the least bit sorry. "Got the job done, didn't it? Saved time, and as is my motto, 'time is money."'

Her and her _money._ That was the only reason she'd made it out of their fateful business trip, she was too busy with money matters to consider going out and getting killed. Bessie was actually a bit proud she'd shot them so quickly, though. Her squeamishness at killing their enemies was going away, slowly but surely.

"Milford? Are you alright?" He looked a little...out of it. There didn't seem to be much damage, besides a bruise on his head from where they'd knocked him out. She knew why they took him this time- they'd been stealing electronics from other survivor groups, and taking Milford was a fear tactic, or revenge, or... something.

"What? Oh, yes, I'm quite alright."

The two of them helped him to his feet."Maybe we should slow down on stealing from other groups, huh?"

"Yes, I wouldn't want any more, ah, kidnappings to happen to anyone." She carefully did not laugh at that, because the only one who ever actually got kidnapped was _him._ But she didn't want to hurt his feelings by implying that he was the weakest member.

"The only one who ever gets kidnapped is you, Mr. Meanswell," Penny giggled. Damn Penny. 

Bessie sighed. She was really looking forward to a hot bath and some tea. They walked home uneventfully, Penny stuffing her pockets with pretty rocks and shiny things found along the way and Milford swaying a little while he walked. When they reached the driveway, Bessie groaned. There was a strange truck there- someone was waiting for them inside. Was it the Gluttonytown Boys, back to steal their food? No- they'd shot one of them, they wouldn't come back, would they? Most groups knew by now that the three of them weren't to be fucked with, because unlike most groups, they shot on sight. So whoever broke into their house was either very powerful or very stupid. 

It seemed she wouldn't be getting her hot bath after all.


	42. Chapter 42

Robbie had never hated Bessie Busybody more than right now. He held the rag to his earlobe, trying to staunch the flow of blood and keep that side of his face away from Sportacus' line of vision. The gunshots from earlier already did enough, he didn't need Sportacus freaking out again. His ear throbbed. Bessie had already apologized profusely, but it didn't change the fact that she _shot him._

He gritted his teeth and hoped it looked like a smile; after all, Sportacus was probably expecting him to be glad to see these people. The things he did for that man. Robbie was not happy to see any of them. Especially not Milford Meanswell, who was glancing at him confusedly every few moments, probably wondering why Sportacus had bothered to bring him along. Which was understandable.  
But that wasn't the only reason he didn't want that oaf there. He would ruin everything. He would tell them, he would bring up... _that_ , Robbie just _knew_ it. The idiot had managed to keep his mouth shut for a surprisingly long time, but with them all together in one house...

Stephanie brought them cups of coffee, a bright smile gracing her face. 

"Me and Pixel found your solar powered coffeemaker last night!"

The blonde woman next to them- who no one had bothered to introduce-gave a guilty half shrug.

"Not ours. We actually stole it."

Stephanie grinned, and Robbies heart swelled with pride. She was really getting the hang of this whole "dubious apocalyptic morals" thing that _certain people_ were always stressing out over. Though, the intruding trio (he decided to call them "Vulturi" in his head,) seemed to have no problem _shooting at people._ And no- he was never going to let that go as long as he lived.

"So, Ro-"

"Let me just stop you right there," he interrupted loudly. "Who is your _guest?_ " He pointed to the sandy blonde, who was rolling a coin between her fingers.

Meanswell smiled. "Oh, this is Penny Pestella- she was at the big mayors meeting we attended before this zombie nonsense started."

Penny nodded, flicking the coin up onto her nose, where it balanced impeccably. "I'm an accountant." She dug several more coins from her pocket and twisted them in her hands, then pulled an entire piggy bank from her other pocket.

_Geez, exactly how deep are her pockets?_

Stingy looked on longingly from the chair, seemingly entranced, and Trixie quickly helped him into the stroller and wheeled him out of the room before he made a scene. Robbie watched them go, chest kind of aching for the kid. He had lost his own piggy bank, did the lady really have to flaunt hers? Couldn't the world cut the kid a break?  
Sportacus shooed the rest of the kids from the room. Robbie was sure at least a few of them would eavesdrop, but there really was nothing to be done for that, so he settled into the couch.

"What's up with that kid?" the Penny woman asked quietly, when the kids were cleared out. "He's too old to be in a stroller."

Bessie laughed. "Oh, it's just Stingy being a diva." 

But she must have noticed his and Sportacus matching blank expressions, because she suddenly stilled, laughter halting.

"He can't walk."

She stared. They were silent for a long moment, interrupted by Milford Meanswell.

"Looks like, ah, a lot's happened. We'd better catch up."

Robbies ear ached, and he started from the beginning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh man sorry this took 5ever, I've had _Serious Shit_ going on irl. Anyways, if you guys do fanart, please link me on here or on tumblr (@thelastaircatcher)!! Because I love all of these ok thanks goodni ght
> 
> also, @deweyart did this great art for the story HOLLA this is my shit right here  
> http://deweyart.tumblr.com/post/156834431941/ok-so-i-kinda-binge-read-thelastaircatchers


	43. Chapter 43

"The- mir-ror."

"Good. That's a lot better than last time. You're less terrible at this every day."

Sportacus smiled sheepishly. "Thanks, Stingy. It means a lot." He patted his shoulder. "Now, let's change those bandages, hmm?" 

Stingy stretched his arms up so Sportacus could take off his shirt. His wounds were healing slowly. Most were scabbed over, which itched terribly.  
Sportacus peeled the bandages off slowly. As much as Stingy hated the immobility and the itchy scabs and the pain, it wasn't the part he hated most. After Sportacus changed his bandages, he knew what was next- his diaper. He could no longer feel when he needed to go to the bathroom, so he had to wear the stupid diapers around all the time.   
It was embarrassing. It was unfair. Nothing was _his_ anymore, not his stuff, not his legs, not his ability to use the toilet alone.   
Stingy felt wetness in his eyes, and Sportacus looked at him, concerned. 

"Are you okay, Stingy?" He didn't reply. 

Sportacus left the room for a moment, returning with Trixie, who looked like she'd just been woken from a nap. When she looked at him, her expression instantly softened. She crawled up onto the bed and patted his head. He'd told her about how he liked people to do that a few nights back, when they'd been lying on the floor talking. It was the kindest thing she'd ever really done for him. He shuddered into the touch and the tears and words struggled free.

"I wish I were dead."

She didn't say anything -probably didn't know what to say- and just kept petting his head. She was his best friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's all Stingy angst latey. Who's ready for more plot next chapter?? I'm gonna post a ton this weekend, the story is rapidly approaching its climax


	44. Chapter 44

It wasn't unexpected by any means. Penny and Bessie had just killed three of their group, of course they were pissed. Apparently pissed enough to come to the house.

Another shot hit the window, and Robbie peeked out to see over twenty people standing outside with weapons. 

"Jeez, Busybody, you never told us you were fighting a fucking army," he hissed.

She looked as confused as Robbie. "There weren't before. There were six men, tops- they must have teamed up with our other enemies."

Okay. There was no way they could fight all of them with just him, Robbie, Bessie, and-

"Wake the kids up, we need to give them guns."

Sportacus' head snapped up. Was she insane? "No! No way are we letting them fight!"

She shrugged. "Would you rather these guys kill them?"

He turned to Robbie. "Tell her, we can't-" He stopped. Robbie had a thoughtful look on his face. "You _aren't_ seriously considering this."

"Well, it's not like they're amateurs... Stephanie's knocked a guy out before, and Trixie, god, have you _seen_ her?"

Sportacus fixed him with a look. This was unbelievable. Robbie avoided his eyes.

"Look, I'm just saying, give them a chance here. Let them decide what they want to do."

Sportacus nodded hesitantly. Okay. Let them decide. Try not to think about Pixels bright hair matted with red because he never really learned to aim, or Ziggy falling to the ground because his tiny body was too weak to lift a gun. The kids ending up without anyone because Sportacus couldn't bring himself to kill a human being. Okay. This was fine, as long as he didn't think about it.

Sportacus took a heavy breath, and more gunshots sounded outside. 

"I'll wake the kids," he croaked, and stumbled from the room. 

Stephanie and Trixie were already awake, and already strategizing on the bed with Ziggy. They had a rough sketch of the house and were trying to find good areas of attack.

"Hi Sportacus! Did the shots wake you too?" Trixie smiled nervously. "What a way to start the day!" She laughed, low and fake.

He looked at their little map. It was well thought out; there were little stick men positioned at the windows and doors. 

"This is good. Let's gather everybody up and talk about it in the kitchen." he turned to leave, but Trixie grabbed his sleeve.

"Don't let Stingy fight," she whispered. He nodded and they went to wake the others.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> o shit tomorrow I'm postin like 5 chapters so get ready


	45. Chapter 45

"Why don't we just escape instead of fighting? You're always telling us that killing people is-"

Sportacus looked deeply sad. "I know. But they want to kill us, Pixel, and they're surrounding the house. What solution is there?"

He didn't know. But Pixel was helpless here without his technology, all left behind in Lazytown.   
With the killing and moving and changing, "Lazytown" was a distant, foreign thing.   
He supposed it was about time he accepted the changes and started making his own contributions with what was left.

"Okay. They'll be in here soon, Stephanie, come with me." She looked up questioningly.

"I have some ideas for the coffeepot?"

She smiled, and they began assembling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> these could all be a couple chapters but theyre different points of view so theyre split


	46. Chapter 46

They broke the door down and flooded in. Stingy ,despite much protest, was packed away in a box under the bed. Robbie was sure they'd all hear about that for weeks, and have to spoil him even more to make up for it. That is, if they all made it until then. He glanced at Sportacus, suddenly imagining.   
Watching five kids alone, sleeping in a cold bed, having no one to scold him. No more waking up with someone elses hair on his face. He suddenly felt cold, because now losing Sportacus was a looming possibility. Their position in this cramped closet would be discovered and after that it was kill or die. Would Sportacus kill?   
It was uncomfortably warm, he noted, their breath and body heat suffocating in the cramped closet. Sportacus' skin sparkled with sweat. He could hear every precious breath.

Fuck, he guessed he was gonna have to do this now or never.

"Sportacus, I-" Can't say it. He took a deep breath and tried again. "I've been wanting to try something."

He leaned forward slowly to give him time to react, to move away. And to give himself time to realize that this was the _worst possible time_ for something stupid like this.   
Sportacus eyes looked dark and hopeful, and maybe this wasn't stupid at all. Their lips barely met and Robbie jerked back slightly, gauging his reaction. Sportacus had a strange look on his face, wondering and fixed. He placed his free hand on Robbies face and tugged them together again, more purposefully this time. Robbie swiped a tongue across his lip, and Sportacus shivered. The closet door swung open.

There stood a tall man wearing a black hat and holding a .22. He looked between them and lifted his gun to shoot.  
A shot sounded, and the man fell with a hole in his head. Robbie turned to Sportacus in shock. He slowly lowered his pistol, looking between it and the dead man in disbelief.

"He was going to shoot you," he said defensively. 

Robbie fought an urge to smile. "Mister Morality killed someone? For _me?_ "

Sportacus looked disturbed, and Robbie was sure he'd said the wrong thing. but then he broke into a small smile. "I'm going to have nightmares about this for months. But I'll still have you, Robbie.My brand of heroin."  
Robbie was certain he didn't even know what heroin was, actually. He blushed, but shook off the disgusting sappy feelings he was having, because their enemies were in the house, now, and this was no time for such things. They could both still die today. 

But he couldnt resist a final peck before they ran down the hall.


	47. Chapter 47

"Here's the deal: If me, Glanni and Stingy win, our name is Team Edward! If you and Pixel win we'll settle for Jacob! This will be the final decision!"

Stephanie frowned. "That's not really fair, is it? You've got an old man, and Stingy, who Sportacus said isn't allowed to fight. We're going to win."

Trixie winked at her. She figured Stephanie would say that. "I have my ways, Pink."

Stephanie shrugged and walked back to the kitchen.  
Trixie settled in on top of a cabinet, waiting for people to come by to shoot at, Stingy was safely tucked in his box and Glanni... well, she was sure he was causing some kind of chaos. 

She heard screams from the other room. Pixel and Stephanie must have cooked up something good in there.


	48. Chapter 48

"The screaming is kind of distracting," Pixel called. 

He finished tying the guy up, and Stephanie stuffed a dish towel in his mouth. She hoped the screaming didn't drive the rest away from their section of the house. She really wanted to win this thing, and so far they had three in custody.

Pixel refilled the coffee machine and suspended it over the tripwire again, so it would fall and spill scalding coffee on whoever came by. Their system seemed a little cruel to him, but it did slow them down long enough to be knocked out and tied up.   
The last one hadn't passed out, even though they held the bag over his head for _three whole minutes._ He was crazy strong, too: the guy actually broke the bag with his head and Pixel had to tie him while he was still conscious. He dumped the sugar out of a paper bag and put that over Strong Guys head, and it only took seconds for him to slump forward, out cold. Weird. Maybe it was more airtight.

Stephanie poured herself some of the coffee, and scooped the dumped sugar from the counter to sweeten it. 

"Do you think they'll let us release them?"

"Sportacus will."

"Yeah, well, Uncle and Ms. Busybody are here. They might tell him not to."

He hummed noncommittally.

The three of them were coming to, and groaning when they realized they'd been caught. By two kids, nonetheless.

"Hi, sorry about the burns, but we're not going to kill you probably!" Stephanie tried to comfort them. "As long as you don't try anything, that is."

They stared at Stephanie, then at Pixel. Strong Guy was waking up, so Pixel snatched the gun from the counter and pointed it to him just to be safe. Strong Guy didn't have to know that the safety was on.

A loud cackle sounded from outside. The captives twisted around, searching for the source, except Strong Guy, who just stared forward, eyes wide. An engine revved. Someone was doing something out there.

Pixel peered out from the edge of the window frame. Outside was Glanni, standing in the truck and driving with his knees as he gleefully shot at those remaining outside. The man was an absolute maniac! Maybe Team Edward had a chance against them after all. He turned to Stephanie.

"We need to step up our game, here, Stephanie."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The more painful version of Home Alone, ft. hot water and suffocation


	49. Chapter 49

Penny liked the Stingy kid, from what she'd seen of him. He was kind of bratty, but so was Bessie, and kind of whiny, but so was Milford. And kind of stingy, but... well. So was Penny.

So it was really just breaking her heart to see him dead! Laying there on the floor like a little rag doll, surrounded by two other dead guys she guessed he killed before he went down. Jeez, he was just covered in blood, too. A real shame.  
She reached in the his pocket to check for coins, and heard a nasally, obnoxious little voice.

"Hey, what do you think you're doing?!"

She snatched up her gun and looked around, but nobody was there.

"Where are you? I'll shoot!" And she would, too. Bessie'd been helping her with that "shoot on sight" thing. The voice sighed.

"I'm under you."

The little body squirmed.  
Oh. Huh. This was unexpected.

"Where'd you get _ketchup_ from? I thought you couldn't walk, kiddo."

He lifted his head and glared. "I have a stroller. I hid the ketchup bottle in my shirt before they put me in a _box._ " He looked livid at the thought. She shrugged.

"Well, color me impressed. How's this whole 'pretend to be dead' thing working for you?"

He gestured to the two dead men beside him pointedly, and she nodded. 

"I like you, kid."

"Noted. Now go away before someone sees me talking to you."

She raised her brow and flicked a coin to him. He reached out to catch it. His hand didn't grip closed all the way, and it clattered to the floor.

"Your hands don't work quite right, pal. You wanna let me do the shooting from here on?"

He hesitated, then slid the gun out from under him. She took it as a yes. "Perfect. Now, let's get these two out of the way and I'll wait behind the door for when they come and examine the poor, dead, child. Which is a great idea, by the way. Good call."

He said nothing, just lay there, dead.


	50. Chapter 50

Robbie walked into the living room and promptly slipped on a banana peel, causing him to fall into a net. 

"FUCK!"

Sportacus almost told him off, but stopped himself. Because if there was any time for saying fuck, this was the time.   
Stephanie ran into the room with rope and a bag. Her eyes widened.

"Oh, Robbie, I'm so sorry! We were capturing people with that, I didn't think you'd get caught!"

"Capturing people?"

"Yeah, me and Pixel don't really like killing people. Sorry."

"That's-"

"Nothing to be sorry for," Sportacus interrupted. "Good job. Be safe, we are going upstairs to shoot from the windows."

She nodded. The two of them headed up the stairs, and entered the bedroom. They were greeted with the sight of Ms. Busybody at a standoff with a masked man. They appeared to be in conversation. She turned to Sportacus, gun still aimed at the mans forehead.

"Sportacus, hello. This is Alex, he's a very nice young man, for someone who wants us dead. I'm thinking of keeping him."

Robbie raised a brow. "Keeping him," he said flatly.

She said it again, slowly, like she was talking to a fool. " _Yes_ Robbie. Because we are outnumbered, if you hadn't noticed."

Robbie barked out a laugh. "So you- so you want to recruit the people shooting at us? Whatever you say," he huffed. 

Sportacus sat down to shoot from the window. Outside, Glanni was driving in circles. He really needed to stop that, it was a waste of fuel, and it was reckless.  
Sportacus tuned back in to Bessie and Alex's conversation. For two people holding each other at gunpoint, they were being surprisingly friendly.

"-Really? I never even thought of that!"

"Sure, just talk it out with him. Guys are like that, they'll understand but you need to spell it out, y'know? He's not going to read your mind. Communication is key for a relationship."

"Oh, that's well and good, but I'm nervous about how he'll take it. Especially with all this zombie stress thrown in! He's never been good with stress, bless him."

"Well, if he's worth your time at all, he'll step up. Trust me."

Sportacus had no idea what they were talking about, but it didn't sound like something he would share with a stranger. 

"I'm going to name my kid after you, Alex."

"Oh, no, don't-"

"I insist! Even if I end up killing you."

"Well, what if I kill you?"

She laughed at that. Sportacus heard a gunshot, but it didn't come from inside. He looked out the shattered window.  
Someone had shot the wheel of the car, and it tumbled sideways, rolling and crunching before coming to a stop. 

_Glanni._


	51. Chapter 51

The Strong Guy was a fast runner. He managed to escape pretty easily, by just pulling at his ropes 'til they broke. He did this the moment the car crashed outside, which distracted Pixel and Stephanie long enough for him to make his escape. Not that he needed a head start. They left the other captives-there were five now- and ran after him. He dashed out of the house faster than either of them could hope to follow. She exchanged a glance with Pixel. Clearly this was hopeless; there was no way they could catch up with him. They walked back to the kitchen, where the captives were busy trying to free themselves with butter knives from the drawer. She supposed it wan't too bad an idea, really, and admired their innovation there.  


"Nice try, guys."  


They glared. "You gonna try to get Ithro back?"  


She guessed they meant Strong Guy, so she shrugged and glanced out the window.  
Someone was out there. For a split second, she was relieved- Robbie or Sportacus was going out to check on Glanni. But at further glance, it wasn't either of them.  
Strong guy was still at the house, running ... straight to the car, which was smoking and surrounded by glass. He ripped the door off, cutting his hand open, and he reached in for Glanni, tugging him from the car and grabbing him roughly.  
Was he going to kill him?  
But even from the window she could see that murder wasn't necessary. A twisted piece of metal protruded form Glannis chest. Strong Guy had no reason to pull him from the truck; he was already severely injured. So why?

Pixel stepped forward. "Maybe we'd better go out there, and try to...y'know...fight him off," he trailed off. 

"No, wait a second. " 

They'd shifted. Strong Guy was now cradling Glanni, mouth moving like he was saying something, but she didn't know what. The two didn't even know each other, what could be said? Glanni reached out and gripped Strong Guys hand tightly. His shirt was deceivingly clean of blood.

They turned away to deal with the captives, and Pixel hummed a little tune to try and block thoughts from his head. Stephanie was suddenly acutely aware that this was the last they'd ever see of Glanni.  
She glanced out the window one last time.

Strong Guy was still there, still cradling Glanni. He was completely limp now, but Strong Guy still held his small, wrinkled hand, and stared into space. A shot fired from the window.

She took a sip of coffee and wished she hadn't looked.


	52. Chapter 52

It was over. 

Alex took the captives off their hands, as several of them were in his group, and the rest had been killed. They removed the bodies and wiped the blood as best they could, but there were still dark stains on several walls. They all sat in the living room, on furniture riddled with bullet holes. 

"Isn't Alex pissed that we killed everyone else?"

"No, I don't think so. He's a strange man. He said, and these are his exact words: 'We got two in on you, which is twenty percent. So it's a fair tradeoff.' I'm very fond of him." Bessie crooned. Milford frowned at that.

Sportacus looked up in alarm. "Two of us?! Who was the second?"

"Probably me, don't worry." Stingy said. "I played dead."

Trixie glared at him.

"What? I killed like seven people! Well, me and Penny did, anyway." He smiled at her, and she smiled back.

Trixie jerked his stroller. "You idiot, you should've stayed in your box!" 

"But seven people!"

Stephanie and Pixel looked on quietly. "You guys win," Pixel said. "we'll gladly be called Team Edward."

Trixie didn't know how she felt about their win.  
Glanni was gone, now. She could have lost Stingy, too. And the only prize was a name?

But life would go on. It had to. It always did.


	53. Chapter 53

Milford hated him, and he'd always known it.

He knew why, and it made sense. He knew he had always been a terrible parent, but he was finally trying to _change_ that after all this time. Not just for his actual kid, for the other ones too. But no matter what he did now, Milford fucking Meanswell would not stop giving him the "you're a failure" look. Maybe he was just imagining it, but the guy just seemed so disapproving, especially now that he was with Sportacus- yet another person he didn't deserve, but had anyway.  
Milford never actually _said_ anything, though. Never once had he called him out on it. It was long overdue.

So even after he read stories to the kids every night, and fed them, and bandaged them up, and sat with them through their nightmares and their missing Glanni's stories (which were better than his), and teaching Pixel to tie his shoes, Stephanie to shoot a gun, and everything else, he was not the least surprised that Meanswell still wanted to have a private talk with him. He knew where this was headed- he would be lectured on how he had no right to suddenly try to be a good dad to these kids when he'd never made an attempt before.

Milford sat on the seat across from the bed, and left the door open just a crack.

"Robbie. I know you probably don't want to discuss this, which is fair, but I'd really appreciate it."

"What is there to discuss? I know already," he didn't meet Milfords eyes.

Milford looked surprised."You _do?_ How?"

"Her mom told me, obviously. And I'm sorry, but please don't tell her." 

"Bessie _told_ you?! And how does she know it's a girl?" 

"...Wait, what?" 

"The baby! Was that...not what you were talking about?" 

"No! I was talking about Stephanie!" 

"Stephanie?! What on earth about her?" 

"You know, the fact that I've been a terrible dad for her whole life!" 

"Oh." His eyes widened. "Oh, no, Robbie, quite the opposite! That's what I'm here to talk about!" 

Robbie was completely confused. 

"I wanted to ask you to be the godfather." Milford paused, gauging his reaction. Robbie stared at him blankly. 

" _What?_ " 

" Bessie and I are going to have a baby, and you've been so great with the others-" 

"No I haven't! I've failed in every respect!" he realized he was screeching, and lowered his voice. "I never even _told her I was her father._ " 

"Oh, she thinks of you that way anyway, you know. And so do the others, and they're no less yours, I think. Especially now." He paused. "My sister would be proud of you." 

He nodded, though he wasn't sure he believed it. 

Robbie heard a gasp from the doorway, and a pink blur disappeared from sight. Shit. 

"So will you do it? Bessie wants to name him- or her- 'Alex Busybody,' but I get to choose the middle name. And I may name him... um, or her, after you! Alex Robert Busybody. What do you think?" 

This was _so_ not what he was expecting. The world must have shifted a few inches to the left, because this wasn't at all how this conversation was supposed to go. Milford was still staring at him, awaiting a response. 

"Sure. I'll get back to you." 

He was flattered, but right now he needed to have a long-overdue talk with his daughter. 


	54. Chapter 54

Stephanie sat outside on the porch. How could he? How could he not tell her something like that?!

She heard steps and instinctively drew her knife, turning to face the attacker. It was Robbie Rotten.

"Hello, _dad_." She crossed her arms, daring him to give her an explanation.

He sat beside her and his legs stretched down the porch steps.

"Would you believe me if I told you we were just joking?"

"No."

"I don't know what to tell you."

"How about tell me the truth."

"Okay. That's fair." He took a deep breath. 

"Your mother and I were together quite a long time ago. And she was amazing, and we had you, but I had to leave."

She looked at him, unimpressed. Clearly he was going to have to get into _detail._ It was the least she deserved. 

"We met at the hospital. I was admitted because _reasons,_ and she wasn't even my doctor, she just came to talk with me. But I digress. I was sort of...well, myself, and so she sort of drifted away from me over time. But here's the catch: she was pregnant. Yeah. And she knew I wasn't fit to raise a child, I lived in a house underground, with no furniture, and I could barely take care of myself. I knew it too."

In fact, he was fairly certain that was why she'd left him.

"So she kept you, and we corresponded sometimes. And then, when you were about nine, there was this disease of the spine spreading like crazy, and she was afraid, but she had to stay and research it. Because that's what she did. And she told everyone she sent you to live with your uncle, but she really sent you to meet me. She wanted me to meet you, just for one summer, while she was busy." His eyes were wet. "I didn't know how to be a good dad, Steph, so I decided not to be one at all. And your uncle was disappointed, I know he was. You weren't going to be there long, so I'd never have another chance to know you, you know? And then your mom..."

The word clawed its way from his throat. " _died_ and you stayed in town, and I had another chance that I never took. You're just a bunch of chances I had and I never took." He was crying now, and Stephanie was staring at him with a terrible look on her face, like she'd put together a whole puzzle that she never realized she owned.

"You did take them, though."

He looked at her.

"You used to play games with me all the time, in Lazytown, where you'd put on disguises." She thought for a moment. "And when we left, you took me on raids in the city, and stuff."

"That's not dad stuff."

"I thought it was pretty dad-like."

"How would you know? You never had a dad."

"I had you! I _have_ you! Why didn't you tell me?" She sounded delighted and upset all at once.

"How would you have taken that?! 'Hi, I'm Robbie, everyone in town hates me and I live underground. By the way, I'm your father."

"I'd have been happy."

He huffed and wiped at his eyes. "Well, I didn't know that, obviously."

"You should have. Fathers intuition."

"I thought it was 'woman's intuition.'"

"Well, you do wear a lot of dresses."

He shoved her gently. "How can someone so tiny be so annoying?"

She laughed. "It's a talent."

"Well, you didn't get that from me."

"Good thing I didn't inherit your sense of style, either, huh?"

"What's that supposed to mean?!"

"Nothing, father dearest." She ran inside, and he was after her in a heartbeat.


	55. Chapter 55

Sportacus bustled around, making dinner. He made soup with the expired chicken broth in the cabinets, mixed with some canned meat (the thought still made him feel a little sick) and noodles. He was always busy, nowadays. 

"Dad, come here! Trixie and I want to read some more Breaking Dawn!"

He winced. Sportacus honestly wasn't a huge fan of Twilight, though it had helped him in reading and getting over his aversion to blood, to an extent. The plot was just...so silly. Really, the girl was so boring and perfect, how could two people suddenly fall in love with her? Didn't it take a bit more than that? Wasn't love something warm and faded, not something cold and perfect and seamless? The author couldn't possibly understand, if she'd written those books. Did she know about the happy memories you couldn't shake off even when you woke up screaming, or individual memories ammassing into something that stands on its own, and if you were asked to pick some idividual thing that you loved, you couldn't? It was drawing lines on a page, trying to form words you didn't quite know how to spell, and instead ending up filling a whole page with lines of nonwords that looked like nothing at all, that you kept only to yourself: gibberish to represent the mix of denial and hope when he leaned forward to meet you, the mix of heat and despair when he died in your nightmares. Things for _only_ you, that there were no words for, moments, physical pieces of time and emotion and space that _bound_ you to that person. Things tucked away and coveted, and things torn into your very body for the world to see and know, shouting "I AM IN LOVE." It was something you'd put bullets in the walls, red stains on the carpet to protect, even if the blood was your own. Love was far too powerful and fragile a thing to be contained in the weak binding of _Twilight._ Were those poor vampires even aware? 

Also, naming the child "Renesmee" was ridiculous. Why not just "Renee Esme Cullen." He just didn't understand it.

"Dad, the soup." He glanced at the pot. It was boiling over. He quickly moved it, careful not to spill any.

Stephanie had started calling Robbie dad, and the other kids followed suit, extending the title to Sportacus. It got a little confusing, but he smiled every time they did it. He had been meaning to ask how that got started, but hadn't gotten an opportunity.

Ziggy rushed into the room. 

"I'm hungry!" he announced. 

"The soup is still hot, how about a piece of candy?" it was only fair, he'd been without for quite some time, and the house was stocked with quite a bit of the stuff.

To his suprise, Ziggy shook his head. "Nah, I don't like sugar very much anymore."

Everyone stared.

"What? We had so much sugary food these last few months. I just got tired of it." He shrugged. "Will you come play with me 'til it cools off?"

"Hey, we asked first!" Trixie piped up.

"But it's not even a good book," he whined.

"Is too!"

"No it's not!"

"Please, kids, stop arguing," Sportacus tried.

Sephanie and Pixel ran into the room, hands covered in dirt. "Sportacus, we have a suprise for you!"

Sportacus tried to respond over the sound of bickering, but was interrupted by Robbie. 

"I need to borrow Sportacus!"

The kids all protested, but he shook his head. "He will be back in awhile." Robbie took his hand and dragged him back to their bedroom.

"What do you need, Robbie?"

"It's not what I need, it's what _you _need. A break."__

__"No, it's fine, really. I was just making dinner."_ _

__"And tending to five children at once, and a pregnant lady, and a pickpocket, and the most absentminded man I've ever met."_ _

__He shrugged. Robbie smiled and kissed him softly._ _

__"You need to learn how to relax and just... take it slow sometimes."_ _

__"Are you going to teach me your ways?" he giggled._ _

__"Yes. Take off your shirt and lie on your stomach. "_ _

__He did, and soon he felt something smooth being rubbed onto his back._ _

__"Oil?"_ _

__"Yes. Be still."_ _

__It was strange. There was nothing to run from, nothing to do. No one wanted to kill them right now, his responsibility was to take care of them all in mundane ways, cooking dinner and drawing pictures. And letting them take care of him, too. Maybe that was love, then._ _

__"'You are the only one who has ever touched my heart,'" Sportacus whispered._ _

__"Hopefully I'll never have to do _that._ Now shut up."_ _

__It was time to be still._ _


	56. the last chapter

Stingy wasn't fine, but he was beginning to see that he could be... okay. His scars still ached and he still couldn't write or walk.  
He couldn't properly grasp a spoon, so he had to be helped eating. He dreamed of death more nights than not, and Trixie had to help him to Sportacus and Robbies room to sleep between them. He was by no means doing well. 

But just yesterday he and Trixie had perfected their secret handshake. He'd used his teeth to draw with Ziggy. He finished the Twilight series, and Pixel and Stephanie were searching around for DVD copies so they could watch them together. The walls were crusted over with blood, and it smelled terrible and kept him up at night, but in time the stench went away. The blood dried. His scabs became scars and his scars faded bit by bit.

He sat at the table beside Ms. Busybody, absently rolling a coin around.

"What do you think of Robacus?"

"Sorry, what?"

"Robacus. Like Robbie-Sportacus; for the babies middle name."

He blinked.

"Oh. Well, it's-" what was the word. Horrible? Yes, that was it. "Horrible."

Her expression became pinched, but then she burst out laughing. 

"Well, it's no worse than 'Stingy,' is it?" she giggled. 

Well, she had a point. But at least his name was _fitting._  
Pixel blew into the room.

"Do we have any ranch? Dressing?" He was breathless.

"Yes, in the cabinet. No, not that cabinet, the one with roaches. What do you need-"

She cut herself off, seeing the bowl cradled in his arms. Lettuce, the first anyone had seen in months.

"Did you... grow that?"

Pixel nodded. "It's a surprise for dad!"

Ms. Busybody squealed and clapped.   
"Isn't that lovely, Stingy? A salad for Sportacus! He'll be so happy!"

 _Well, it's about time, isn't it? For us all to be happy for once._  
Stingy rolled his eyes and rolled his coin off the table, nonchalant.

"Sure. I guess so."

He grinned into his palm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The End!
> 
> I'll do some other zombie AU stuff in this series, but idk if any of it will be set in this same universe. unless people are interested in that. idek if anyones still reading this but if you are i hope you liked it!


End file.
